Here we are mid January already. 

Yes, we are making our way through middle of January. My goodness. Well, time, time is just a construct. A very fluid ever changing construct, isn't it? Amen. Yes. It's crazy. I feel like I could just, well, I guess I have meditated on time.

It's just, I can't seem to wrap my head around it. 

Uh. Yeah, so if everybody were to think about how, 2024, how far away does that feel right now, even though it's only been two weeks? It's very interesting how time is changing for us. 

It's hard to tell if it's me getting older or if it really is changing, but it, it's just my son and I were talking yesterday about how he wants to go back to New York.

Like. Yeah. And I was like, well, we could visit New York any time in our minds. Like we can basically do, he was talking about time traveling. I was like, we could pretty much lay down and both be thinking about it. And we can time travel together. And it's so fun to just do that in our minds. So I'm going to do that with him this week and see what he thinks.

And literally, uh, the spin of the earth is speeding up. And so time is changing in our experience. It's basic quantum physics. So, 

you know, 

and then also, if you think about things like this podcast, there's so many great teachers available to us today. As we come out of busy, crazy mind and into more loving, unified, calm mind, time is a different experience.

Oh yeah. We experience time differently. 

Mm hmm. 

We perceive it differently. 

And it can be a little uncomfortable in the unknown of it as you start calming the mind down, as you get more strongly in your own business and you have less stress over everything around you that's not in your control at all.

It can be a little disorienting at first. And I don't know why I say it first. I still seem usually disoriented by time. And yet, I'm never late. I get everything done. And yet, if you catch me off guard and ask me what day it is or what time it is, I have no sense of it. Uh huh. Hmm. So the more you begin to live in presence, or you hit, you know, you might have heard the term with athletes when they're in the zone.

Oh yeah, the flow. You give up the attachment of the mind. Mm hmm. Looking at or, or thinking of and running in the background this attachment of linear time. And so what I say about time is, time is this amazing thing we all agreed on, well, kind of, except for when we have all these time changes in different, uh, different parts of our country.

Uh, and time is a tool, just like your mind. You want to use time to bless you. And you want to use your mind as a tool to be of service to your highest good. And when you use time like that, instead of time using you up with stress and worry and rushing, It's a much better experience. 

That actually, it's not even, I, I'm looking at what I have written down for the Cosmic Nudge today.

And I was going to talk about how, um, I was going through this in 2022. I said that I was going to, to improve my, like, heal my relationship with time. Almost like I had something to forgive from time, like, of time. And, um, I was, I can't even believe, I can't believe this is what we're talking about for this one, but I had been meditating on and studying on like, basically looking for answers on how I find peace in not being able to go back, not being able to revisit and do something better, not being able to change anything, not being able to just, just, Healing how I was suffering.

Maybe not even suffering, just like, I guess it was suffering through wishing that there was a way to go back and redo something or re experience something. It just felt kind of, like, cruel at the time. And one day when I was meditating as I was getting ready in my bathroom, the sun just, like, sh sh shone?

Shined? Did shine through the window? Shone. Shone. So I went through the window and just like kind of hit my face and glinted off the mirror and I just all of a sudden had this whisper or nudge or thought of whatever it is for however long, it will be enough. And that's it. It was clear, and it wasn't me, and I don't know how, like what, what description of where it came from there would actually be, but that was my cosmic nudge that I was going to bring up for today was.

And is that any different? Maybe we don't have words for it accurately, or different people will have different perceptions of it than me starting off with time before you gave me your cosmic nudge. The veil is actually thinning our intuitive senses, our connection. is speeding up. Look at, well, maybe your age, but definitely not my age yet.

The younger kids, I mean, I see really, like, teens even, they're so fast texting. They reply before, like, the minute I've hit send, I'm getting a text back from a lot of times. I'm like, how can that happen? And so, again, time is changing in a lot of ways for us, because we're so young. We're capable of it now.

Our minds are evolving. Look at our technology. Look at our science. Everything's evolving much more quickly. If you think about how long in our history it took for new ideas to take root. It was a very long time. And now, it's much faster. It's delightful when they're good ideas. 

It's so fun when they're good ideas.

And 

I, I often will comment on, you know, my mom, in her lifetime, she didn't get to, to change her mind and have new beliefs. She couldn't even, there were a lot of cultural rules and laws that she grew up with as a woman that she couldn't really break through very easily. And then you pop one generation ahead, my generation, we can do anything.

I can wear anything. I can get married, get divorced, marry a woman, go to college, own a business, change my mind, move to a different country. Those were not real options for her. Not that abundance of choice that I have. And that's just one generation. 

Yeah, that's a huge, because how long was it the other way?

At least thousands of years. And then all of a sudden, there's much more choice. There's, I mean, choices open time up, right? I guess. 

Yes. Or, or I wonder if time has opened choices up. I don't know how it works really. And again, there's not one definitive answer that fits everybody. And so you want to choose what do I want to believe about time or what do I want to believe about my past that aligns to supporting me in the empowerment of where I want to go and who I want to be today.

I know it's, I, that's kind of what I'm working on right now with the, the joyous juggling. It's um, I get to choose in this stage of life because it'll change, yeah, what I want my relationship with time to be. Do I want to be rushed all the time? Do I want to make time for the things that I actually care about?

Yeah, I get to choose that. Pretty fun. 

It is fun if you choose it to be fun, right? 

And 

it is. Yeah. 

Okay, well, we ready for our listener question from this week? Week? Oh, yes. Very ready. Okay. Well, we have, you're not gonna believe it. We have a third Megan that listens to the show. 

Love it. Hopefully there's even more than three.

That's written in, I guess. And, um, Megan's just love us. Okay, so Megan's question this week is on honesty and trust, and when is it okay to let somebody back in your life that has broken your trust? How can you trust someone on their word when you've been hurt, and when are they going to be a safe person again, if ever?

Trust needs to be earned, and if it's been broken, it does take a long time to earn it back. You would need evidence that Whatever the trust between you that was broken, you would have to have evidence that that is not continuing. And so, when do you take somebody back? You know, um, Again, this is so hard when you've believed that human love will heal everybody, and you find that is not true.

That everybody is on their own journey. And people have patterns. You, we, all of us have patterns that are ancestral that will repeat. Like, you know, mannerisms, um, problems with money, infidelity, uh, violence, addiction, betrayal, abandonment. These are all patterns that will show up in people that we pick in our life, sometimes as horribly close as partners.

Other times it can be in business, it can be neighbors, it can be with a community project, it can be with a work project. These patterns will repeat over and over until someone brings consciousness to it. What does that mean? To be in a horrible pattern that you've witnessed in family, maybe before you, or you've heard about from a generation back even.

What does it mean to show up in consciousness? It means to show up in choice. How do you make good choices? I always refer to, you know, principle based thought. There are spiritual laws. It would be very hard to rebuild trust with somebody who does not have the same end in mind, does not have the same goals or ethics that you have.

And I would ask, why would you even try? Why would you try to build trust in somebody who cannot keep their word to themselves or to a goal that you value. It doesn't mean you have to hate them or belittle them or judge them or suffer over them forever. Even if you do feel betrayed or abandoned, your heart's broken.

It does happen to us. Consciousness is about being aware of it. What's yours to deal with and what isn't yours to deal with? And when somebody has, say, mental illness or addiction, uh, whether it's with people or money or health or any of the relationships humans have, or they go over the deep end in religion, or they give up all religion that you've been in together, any of these things, If somebody is not a good partner for your desires and goals for your lifetime, as a person, as maybe a parent, if you can't receive evidence that you want the same thing, you'll never be able to reestablish trust.

So we don't get to choose, unfortunately, what other people do, what they don't do, how they change on us, how they don't change on us, or with us. We don't get, we have no control over any of that. We'd like to think we do. And yet we don't. And so it's a horribly painful lesson. I think we all hit it at some point.

How do we come back into strongly knowing, here's what I choose for me, or my children, or my money, or my spiritual or religious beliefs. Here's what I align to because I believe it will give me the best possible experience. And how can I learn the grace of letting go of somebody who's not a fit, or even a job that's not a fit, How can I let go and still reach for loving peace within my own heart?

And it can even be sometimes people that go with religions, and that's hard too, right? Careers, religion, spouses, family members that are toxic. It's very, very painful to us. And yet, it's the only way to move forward and really fulfill your own experience of feeling good about yourself. So again, there's not a flat answer for everybody.

And yet there is a flat answer of how do you do a good relationship. How do you have a good relationship? How do you shine in a good relationship? Well, a relationship is only good, meaning healthy, doable, it's going to show up through hardships, if the people in the relationship, whether it's business, You could own a business together, it could be romantic, it could be, it could even be with a, an organization, your relationship with an organization, a system.

The only way it's a healthy, good relationship that can grow into more solution and, and weather hard times without really devastating anybody is if they agree on the target, the end in mind, the goal. And you might start that way, but then it could change. So Megan, you know, I would ask you to get with a trusted friend or, you know, somebody, uh, an elder, somebody, a mentor of some kind, somebody who does relationship well, in a way that you admire, and I would ask them to help you sort out what is it you want.

In the big picture, in the future, what is it you want to know about yourself, how you showed up in this, where your trust has been broken, what makes sense, you know, we can get lost in the emotion, and you, you want to be guided by somebody who's not so emotionally in it, in the, the throes of the pain, who can help you, not their opinion, but your truth of what it is you really want.

And how you would get it, how you would know that it's working and you can feel safe in it. When we're You know devastated when we're betrayed or abandoned or shocked or our feelings are hurt It's very hard to use the mind as a tool to be strategic and logical Very hard and so that's when you know I would ask you get help from somebody that you admire That can walk you through a zero judgment and not try to impress what they would do on you But they would help you answer questions for yourself about what you want out of this, this change in your life.

And, you know, we don't control, well, we don't really control much of anything. How we co create in reality is, is how we show up in relationship to things. So kind of like Anne was saying, her relationship with time, you would ask, how do I want to be in relationship with this person who is not the person I used to know before the trust was broken.

And when you figure out your end of this, you're going to have a lot more peace and you'll have a lot more capability to heal from the pain of it and move forward in a way that you won't regret. 

I think there's a lot of grief that comes into play as well when someone changes drastically, and you're not sure if they will ever be who they were.

And, and so you're kind of 

Well, the truth is they'll never be who they were again. They could choose to align to previous ethics and morals, and you'll never be the same because you've been through this big experience. It's not about getting rid of the experience, it's about evolving through it to a greater self, sense of self love, self respect, self empowerment.

And if you cannot move through it, if you're making right actions, good choices, getting help, doing all the logical, strategic things that make sense, and you still feel stuck emotionally, that's when it's grief. That's when it's unresolved grief. 

Okay. 

And there is a lot of grieving. That's normal, natural.

You just want to make sure you don't get stuck there for years, right? Yeah, I think 

I've definitely seen people get stuck there. I, I think in ways I do as well, or have, um, And those are the patterns. That's how it turns into a pattern for me, I think. 

So yes, I highly recommend anybody going through a big trauma.

Again, it doesn't matter if it's with a person, with a job, with a employer, with an organization. If you have had your trust broken, well, first, you're going to be angry, which is good, because that anger gives you a lot of energy to see what's unfair, what, what trust is broken, what boundaries aren't being acknowledged.

That anger

So the anger is real and you want to utilize it well and then when you have time, you do want to learn about grief. And yes, you have to grieve whether it's, you know, a pet's death, a job change, a friend moving away, any perceived loss where you didn't feel complete with your communication. That's when we have grief that lingers.

It's beyond the natural experience of grief. 

I just had the, the exercise that you did with me on the Frankie episode, um, with the who does it remind you of? I mean, would that be helpful in a situation like this? 

Only to death. only if, you know, you like seeing, oh, this is a pattern, it's not personal. But that might be hard to do when you're in the throes of it feels very personal.

So it depends on where you're at, right? And again, it's, it's, if it's a really big, trust broken, If it's really involved at many levels and layers, you definitely want to have a good therapist walk you through. Otherwise, you waste a lot of time. You'll be asking, you know, people for their opinion or input who have no experience in this.

I would say the most efficient, effective way to go through this is with an experienced counselor or therapist. And if that doesn't get you all the way, then of course I would say do grief recovery work, energy work, uh, because usually in my perspective, you know, and you don't have to agree, it depends on different belief systems, it's usually an ancestral pattern repeating when trust is broken severely.

You'll find the same storyline in your ancestral history somewhere. I always say it's a really tough gig being human. And yet, the hardships we go through, if you do the work to learn how to use your mind as a tool, and you learn about spiritual laws, and you can evolve yourself into, Learning how to empower yourself by staying in your business instead of the disempowerment that we've all experienced by fretting over what other people did or didn't do, what life does or doesn't do.

Then you can come through that pain into an even more expansive experience of loving joy. 

Hmm. So do you have a question for Megan in regards to her question? Do you have a Helen question for us? 

Yeah, it would just be, if you can pick who you trust, what's your criteria for that? What makes somebody trustworthy in your mind?

Hmm. 

That's a really good question. Because is it that your trust has never been broken with them or is it the way that they've shown up when, when that does happen or, yeah, very interesting. 

It is. And it's, you know, All of us, to some degree, we have relationships with people, especially birth family, and, and maybe old friends that you've just been with for a long time, and you can love them, enjoy them for certain periods of time, and, and maybe need breaks from them too, and yet.

You know, everybody I love or interact with, I don't trust them, right? What is trust? It's giving a part of myself or an expectation or creating a certain something. Uh, it's, it's a really good question to ask yourself. What's my criteria for trust and who am I giving that to? And why am I choosing them?

Great proactive question as well. Doesn't have to be just retroactive. 

No, it's a constant question.

Thank you, Helen. Well, we appreciate you being with us for another week and we'll see you all next time. Bye Helen. Thank you.