Ep19 Natalie

Anne: [00:00:00] Hi, I'm Anne. And I'm Helen. And welcome to Metaphysical Street Smarts. What is Metaphysical Street Smarts, Helen? 

Helen: Physical is everything you can see with your human eyes. You can see, touch, feel, taste as a human. Metaphysical is that which you cannot see. Wi Fi, microwave energy. When you feel somebody staring at you, you can't really feel eyesight.

Helen: So metaphysical is that which you can't perceive. we invite you to take what blesses you and leave the rest. Um, so what's the first thing that you want to do if you're going to have a baby? I want to take the W W, the energetic, the airy fairy, and add it to logic so that you can have a better experience of yourself in this life.

Anne: As always, we invite you to take what blesses you and leave the rest. We're so glad you're here. Let's jump in. Well, hi, Helen! Hi, Anne! So good to hear your voice. So good to be here! [00:01:00] Well, let's jump in. Do you have anything for us this week? We're just, we just are getting back from your retreat. I'm sure you're, um, enjoying your, your rest and recuperation from your, 

Helen: all your efforts.

Helen: Yes. And it was such an exciting event. It was, you know, it was big. And yet for the first time in all my experiences. I just enjoyed all of the effort and there was just one little red hot moment just in the weeks before where I'd feel a little, a little not joyous and I'd say, What is that? And I would look at it and I would think, Oh yeah, this is memories of when I would forget the joy of what I had chosen and I would feel overwhelmed, or uncertain, or I would doubt how wonderful things would be or like, you know, I had some printing issues and I [00:02:00] thought, Oh, it's not It's not the way I envisioned.

Helen: And then I'd be like, and it's okay. So as we learned in the retreat now on earth, that's about when I feel less than my normal inner peace or joyful or in solution mode, when I feel off center, it's a reminder to stop and pray for all the people who are still feeling overwhelmed, stressed out. And in this new unity consciousness.

Helen: It's really a delightful practice. If I feel it to any degree, I know there are many people feeling it at an even stronger degree. And so I do offer a prayer for them. And also I ask that peace and light and love be brought to me in the past. So you know, I started this journey with EFT. And EFT, I love EFT.

Helen: Tapping. I would tap out all the emotional charge on a memory. But it didn't bring love and light to the memory. Now, and I hope [00:03:00] many of, or all the women at the retreat, are focused on evolving even their memories into the next higher frequency of light. 

Anne: Hmm. I just had a thought when you said that. I thought, um, oh yeah, but then I have to give up the darkness, I guess, the absence of as much light.

Anne: So, yeah, still some victim consciousness holding on there. 

Helen: Oh, well, have no worries because it's a long journey. Don't worry, there's time. There's plenty. And yet it's, it, yeah, it's just like anything else you practice to me. It's just so joyful to say, Oh, look, I don't feel the suffering and yet I'm aware of this energy.

Helen: You know, for me this stage now, it's like none of it's personal. I'm part of the whole and whatever I experience, I can choose to be in loving service [00:04:00] to even my own past. Wow, and that's what happens when I go to a retreat. 

Anne: I Pop into the next level. I know next level. I am I used to feel Kind of like oh, why do I have to be like why why do I have to give that to myself?

Anne: Why couldn't have that have been available to me and now I look at it as I'm so lucky that I get to do that At the same time, I'm doing it for my boys. I'm so lucky I get to go back and give something that my parents didn't know I needed and couldn't have given me. And I get to do that. And so, 

Helen: that's one thing.

Helen: Isn't it a lovely shift when you can drop the victim and go right into self empowerment? Yes. It is lovely. So what cosmic nudge did you get for us this week after the retreat? I was sitting in 

Anne: our break room at work and just kind [00:05:00] of watching the people around me just listening to some nice meditation music and eating my Caesar salad, which I love, and just feeling all warm and fuzzy, and, uh, I was watching people, I had a good view of the door and I was just watching people hold the door open for each other and go through and say thank you and have these lovely interactions.

Anne: And I noticed there were three times, the commissary or the janitorial staff, there were three instances where someone would hold the door open for them. And they would be annoyed. Like, it was very annoying to them that someone was holding it open. And I don't know if it's because they felt like, you don't have to do that, my badge opens it and it automatically stays open, so you're inconveniencing yourself and I'm not going to say thank you because I didn't need you to do it and I didn't ask you to do it.

Anne: I don't know if that's what it was. Or why else they would be annoyed by it. But it was every time it was one of [00:06:00] them. So there's some culture there where they're very annoyed about people opening doors for them. And I just, it just made me think about, um, like noticing, and I don't know how to not open the door for someone, but maybe just like, Change direction and go get water.

Anne: I don't know. It made me think of your saying of intentionally giving. Yes, what can be received as love. 

Helen: Yeah, my version of that was at the grocery store. I saw a woman who was older than me. And this was, you know, probably a decade ago. And I always remembered it. And I offered help. Like I would if it was my mom, right?

Helen: And she said, No, thank you. But she said it pretty, you know, firmly, um, not rudely, but put some fire in it. Just no, thank you. You know, if I quit doing this, I'm gonna lose it. And do I look that old to you? And I thought, Wow, she didn't take it as just polite manners that I was [00:07:00] raised with. You help anybody, no matter what age, right?

Helen: If they, and, um, And I really thought about that, and my mom got that way at the end, like by the time she hit 70, I'd say, let me do this, and she'd say, nope, if I stop doing it, I'm gonna lose it. And it was a part of my learning, ask. So if you see a custodian, or janitorial person, or even somebody who works somewhere, and just say, may I get that for you.

Helen: And some people will say, no, thank you, or no, I got it. Or some people will say, yes, thank you. And it's just fascinating that we don't have a cultural norm for manners anymore. We just don't. And so it's, it's a wonderful time though to practice. Hey, can I help? You need help? And not take it personally if they say no.

Anne: Yeah, I guess that's, I mean, I've definitely had a problem when I just realized that, why didn't I think of myself? Um. I definitely have had [00:08:00] times with, especially men, as, like, trying to do something for me. And I'm like, I can do it. I can mow my own lawn. I can do that. I can, um, and, but, but when they've asked, it's felt I could definitely receive that as love.

Anne: I don't know. There's something about it. It's more about me than it is about the person who's offering, obviously. 

Helen: Well, and because people can offer in different energies, you know, have you ever been, like, have you ever seen or been in the situation? So you're in the car. You're driving and somebody pauses to let you in, but they can't see what you see, and then they get mad at you because you won't let them do the big good thing, but you know you'll get hit if you pull out.

Helen: And it's, it's funny, people get attached to being the hero or the polite person or the helper, and they can be offended if you don't let them. And then there are people like us learning. How do we honor [00:09:00] that everybody's in a different place including ourselves all the time? And simply asking, may I help, would you like some help or last podcast, you know, we were talking about children and emotional, um, intelligence and raising them that way and it is, Hey, can we talk about this now?

Helen: Or do we need a break? Let me know when you want to, um, discern what that emotion felt like. Or right now, do you just need to stomp it out? You know, teaching people to wake up and start thinking and it. It's amazing with children, they won't use it to be rude. Adults, eh, we're still learning how to not take everything personally.

Anne: Yeah, I've definitely had some traffic instances where there's a, there's just a two way stop down the road and people will constantly stop in the lane, in the direction that's not supposed to be stopping and I'm, I do not [00:10:00] like to let them give way to me because it's not safe and so I don't know why.

Anne: There's something there for me. Interesting. To think about 

Helen: yes, and it takes a certain level of comfort with self love with just Knowing you can receive what's offered without being diminished by it. You know, for me, it was really hard to receive for a long time. Now I'm fabulous at it. And yet there was a big, you know, many year stage of being so awkward with it and not being able just to, to even receive a compliment or receive help and saying thank you and just glowing my gratitude at whoever wanted to do that.

Helen: And it, again, it depends on the person offering too. If it's sticky energy they're offering, where you need to feel grateful, or if it's just a no big deal offering, I can receive it and just feel really good too. [00:11:00] We're just so complex, 

Anne: aren't we? So complex. Inter human communication. Okay, so if they're offering with sticky energy, which I I have immediately at least one person come to my head for that.

Anne: Um, I don't know. Do you have anything on 

Helen: that of someone's offering something? Yeah, my basic go to is, Oh, thank you for offering. I've got it though. Thank you and no thank you. And I say it with, you know, a smile on my face. And I just use my energy field in a way to be firm. Um, not wishy washy, not judgmental, not, not rejecting, not withdrawing, and that just takes practice.

Anne: Yeah, the not withdrawing I think takes practice for me, um, just because that's kind of how I have previously viewed and know for myself is rejection, and so I think that that's how it's [00:12:00] other people would be feeling. I'm projecting that onto other people, is that they would be Feeling rejected and that makes me feel withdrawn.

Anne: So it's a, it's another way of codependency. 

Helen: It is. And taking responsibility for other people. Okay. So I just read the funniest quote. Um, it said, quit trying to make everybody happy. You're not tequila.

Helen: And the truth is, you know, I just thought how people felt was my responsibility, even if I knew them, didn't know them. And it's, it's crazy, isn't it? So if I beam love at you and say, no, thanks, I've got it. Have a wonderful day. And you have some big emotional response that I won't even know about. I'm not responsible for that.

Helen: I am responsible for how I show up. Yep. 

Anne: That's, uh, that feels like a cord I haven't quite unplugged yet. 

Helen: What will happen when you get good at it? [00:13:00] When you can really listen and open your heart, even if your bind is a little bit snarky, but the more you practice just opening your heart. And. You know, thinking, okay, it's my face, it's my body language, giving him what he, you know, is intending, what I'm intending with my heart, what will happen is they will drop wanting to control or be paid back, because they'll be receiving.

Helen: So think of it this way. If you have a kid tugging on your shirt, getting louder and louder by you throwing things, what is it they need? Attention. If you stop what you're doing and look into your child's eyes and say, Hey, mommy's on the phone. Do you need a hug right now? They'll get a feeling from you, a connection to you, and then they'll tootle off and let you have time.

Helen: If you skip the part of letting them know you care about how they feel, it's very annoying. Okay. 

Anne: I'll do it. Game on. I'll do it. Challenge is on. 

Helen: Can you love and adore enough to get a [00:14:00] better experience? Yep. Yep. 

Anne: Practice. Okay, we ready for our question? Oh, yes, please. All right. So this week, our question came from Natalie.

Anne: And Natalie asked, How can I find a balance between personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships 

Helen: with loved ones? Well, Natalie, I would have to kind of ask you what personal growth means there. Because in my version of personal growth, it would only ever benefit all relationships. And so personal growth, it's interesting, I don't think I've ever thought to define it, per se, I think it's growing as a person out of instinctual reactive behaviors into a conscious being who chooses all the things that we value, peace, kindness, patience, forgiveness, understanding, respect, first for self, which then ripples out to others.

Helen: So the [00:15:00] biggest pitfall I would share with you that I experienced was wanting everybody to personally grow like I was. That's a sure solution for discord and unhappiness. And yet, if you Stay in your own business, and don't expect others to want what you want, or to learn what you're learning, or show up the way you're, you're practicing.

Helen: You will end up being such a great example that they will either vibrationally ask you good questions and want to evolve too, or, vibrationally speaking, they won't be around you as much. But everything will be very, very good, not ugly. And so, as you probably hear me say in many podcast episodes, be sure you have your mission statement for personal growth.

Helen: And when you realize it's written just for you and, and, and not to judge others, Take it personally. If others aren't on the journey, need others to validate [00:16:00] you when you go through all it isn't, you will be able to refine what it is. And then when you can align to that, all your other relationships will simply get better.

Anne: Yeah, because I think there's a A fear of, um, yeah, like leaving people behind or being left behind or going ahead. 

Helen: And that's valid. There is a gap space where the people who stay very victim y or judgmental or cruel, they will bounce out of your life. You, when you see them, say it's family or co workers, when you see them and you're together, it'll be lovely.

Helen: And yet they won't call you very often. They won't go out of their way to be around you because vibrationally you won't match. So it's very valid. There is a gap space. And yet for, for All of us today on earth, more and more people are going to be wanting to feel better and have better relationships. So for you going first and getting a strong foundation so that [00:17:00] others can vibrationally align and ask good questions and see good modeling through your own journey, you're, you're not really going to have that big a gap space.

Helen: You're going to attract more and more good to you. So everything's speeding up. The chaos is speeding up. The suffering is speeding up. And so is the reward and the peace and the happiness and the joy. It's all speeding up. And so I don't think you'll have to worry about a big gap space at all. 

Anne: Yeah, so maybe the, I mean, I guess it would all be hypothetical because everyone's on a different journey.

Anne: But generally speaking, a lot of the people who are here today would be looking to kind of level up eventually, not necessarily have the same experience that's been had for thousands of years with, you know, it's kind of been done. So most people are going to experience kind of an upleveling 

Helen: consciousness.

Helen: Yes, most people. [00:18:00] You know, it depends on your belief system. Mine is that, you know, we're not separate and the people in our circle of influence and the people we're attracted to, I mean, those of you who would listen to a podcast like this, you know, anybody who would be attracted to my way of teaching, my belief system, my way of living and expressing, you're here to be happy.

Helen: Or I would just grate on your nerves and you'd never tune in again. And so in happiness, many, many people are going to start seeking happiness. It's the next evolutionary step for humanity. Uh, we haven't really reached it at a mass consciousness level. So you're going to notice a big divide. There's going to be a lot of chaos with organizations, structures, crumbling.

Helen: And at the same time, there's going to be a huge divide in who wants to stay in victim and who's like saying, there's got to be a better way. And so when you stay focused in what do I want for my life experience, I'm accountable to me, what I learn, [00:19:00] what I practice. When you stay there, you don't realize it.

Helen: And yet at a vibrational level, you're supporting everyone in your circle of influence. 

Anne: Does the same work for people who are thinking about what they, well, I guess the idea is that no one chooses victim mentality. Oh, no, they do. They do, okay. 

Helen: Some do. Yeah, you know, it's, it's an interesting concept that we think everybody came in for the same thing.

Helen: No, this is a planet of diversity. This is a planet of contrast in every degree in between. Because if we didn't have diversity and contrast, how could you ever evolve to choose unity consciousness? There would be No path, right? No adventure. And so some people will absolutely choose anger, bitterness, resentment, victim consciousness, martyrdom, codependency, suffering.

Helen: It doesn't mean they're [00:20:00] not good. They don't have value. It all has some meaning that we as humans don't get to comprehend and yet I like to believe God is not making any mistakes There's a divine order. I can't perceive from my little consciousness here And I just need to stay in my business not other people's business.

Helen: That's a good thought for us all I think and somebody who's doing I don't know Struggling through addiction, or abuse, or is the abuser, or the criminal, or the whoever. Um, all the different religions, right? All this diversity here. Their life path and what they contribute to the whole is just as valid as mine.

Helen: That's why I'm always repeating. Choose what you want for your quality of experience in life, and then follow through and learn how to keep 

Anne: improving it. Because it's just as valid as whatever someone else thinks it should be. Yeah. Okay. Well, do [00:21:00] you have a question for 

Helen: Natalie? Question or challenge? Yes.

Helen: You know, I think it would be that, Natalie, to define personal growth, to define what does that mean? How will you know when you're successful? Like what does success look like with different people? So for me, I mean, come on, let's face it. People I socialize with through my husband, through family, through a community event that's not spiritual, uh, they don't have any of the beliefs I have usually, right?

Helen: And so. Successful personal growth for me with people who aren't interested in anything I'm interested in, uh, is being a good listener and enjoying myself, even if nobody's interested in what I love to talk and think about. That's personal growth and success for me because I did go through that horribly painful stage where I felt Lonely and nobody, you know, I didn't fit in I was the weirdo and now success is I can fit in anywhere and feel great [00:22:00] and Contribute.

Helen: I love that. I think 

Anne: that Yeah, that's a pretty common feeling at the start. Fear of loneliness, or just loneliness, and especially depending on what beliefs you're coming from, community wise, it's pretty lonely to not all of a sudden match with 

Helen: everyone else. And I just remember that I'm lucky I have this podcast, right?

Helen: There are millions of us wanting to choose love and awaken and be conscious and be kind, and I'm not alone. I may feel like it sometimes, but that's only if I'm judging others for not validating me, not listening to me, not wanting what I want. And so, that's an idea of separation, when really, So 

Anne: maybe anyone that I'm feeling judged by or that doesn't understand me, just like the 7 Habits, um, I, my, my goal there is to [00:23:00] seek first to understand, then to be understood, which seems like a lot of people don't understand.

Anne: I don't need to try to be understood, either they will or will not want to be under, understand me. Right, 

Helen: so sometimes people will misunderstand that and think, well I listen to you, now you need to listen to me, that is not what the principle is. You know, it only works with people who would study the principles or be awake enough to want to understand both sides of it, and most humans aren't there yet.

Anne: That's okay. 

Helen: We'll just focus 

Anne: on 

Helen: the 

Anne: first part. We can still have 

Helen: a rockin awesome time. 

Anne: Yeah. Cool. All right. Well, thank you so much Helen. It's been lovely chatting today. I hope you have a great week. And Natalie Thank you for the question. I, we so appreciate it. Yes. Thank you, Natalie. All right. We'll see y'all next week.

Anne: Take care. Have a good one. Thanks. Bye. That's all for today. We'll be back next Thursday with our next episode. You can subscribe if you'd like to get new episodes when they drop, [00:24:00] and reviewing and sharing the pod will help others find our community. We love getting your questions at hello at metaphysicalstreetsmarts.

Anne: com. And enjoy connecting with you on Instagram or wherever you've found us at metaphysical street smarts, you can leave comments or questions there, which may be featured on our rapid fire segment for information on upcoming events and consults with Helen. Please visit Helen Ray's. That's H E L E N R A C Z dot com.

Helen: We invite you to read, listen, join us on our next episode, send us questions, because it is our intent to support you at this tumultuous time on earth and to the best experience of you. 

Anne: Thanks for being here. Until next time, stay [00:25:00] grounded.