Anne: [00:00:00] Hi, I am Anne, and I'm Helen. And welcome to Metaphysical Street Smarts. What is Metaphysical Street Smarts? Helen 

Helen (2): Physical is everything you can see with your human eye. You can see, touch, feel, taste as a human. Metaphysical. Is that what you cannot see? Wifi microwave energy. When you feel somebody staring at you, you can't really feel eyesight.

Helen (2): So metaphysical is that what you can't perceive with the human eye? Street smarts means let's take the woowoo, the energetic, the airy fairy, and add it to logic so that you can have a better experience of yourself. In this life. 

Anne: As always, we invite you to take what blesses you and leave the rest. We're so glad you're here.

Anne: Let's jump in. We just had our break and I almost forgot that I needed to come back down. I almost started doing laundry. [00:01:00] Oh my gosh, that's so funny. I just, I'm all over the place. So funny, but hi Helen. Hi. How are you this week? I'm great this week. 

Helen (2): How are you doing? Um, often surprised at how forgetful, and then I was reading or listening to something very interesting as we're.

Helen (2): Evolving into more of a multidimensional experience, uh, which isn't just at a spiritual level. Think of ai, how it's making everything so much faster than we're used to. Our brain literally is shifting and adjusting. Have you noticed that more often? You're surprised at how forgetful or distracted you seem?

Anne: Why? Why? What do you mean? Yes. 

Helen: Uh, because, you know, our, our linear time experience, it's that the mind always, [00:02:00] always, always, always, the ego part of the mind measures and compares everything through the past. And now things are speeding up so quickly that. That there isn't even time for that. You just can get an answer or you can get new information or you can get a new experience, or you can get from here to there.

Helen: And without all that being necessary. And so we're, we're going through a big evolutionary leap for the human personality mind too. 

Anne: You know, that makes me feel a little bit better that maybe my seeming extreme difficulty with turning short-term memory into long-term memory won't be as much of a hindrance as I think it will.

Anne: Nope. You're 

Helen (2): just in the chaos before new order. Along with the rest of us. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be better than, okay. We just gotta get to the other side. 

Anne: Oh, well. I've got our cosmic nudge for this week, if you're ready. Yes. What is it? This week I will occasionally think about this [00:03:00] and want to ask you about it, and then I forget.

Anne: In one of the gratitude is alchemy. Zooms. You were talking about how when people randomly or basically cry at inappropriate times, you were talking about what that means and where that stems from. And I was wondering if you would, if you remember this context at all, like if you could elaborate on that.

Anne: 'cause I just thought it was such an interesting concept that I hadn't really heard. 

Helen (2): Well, I don't, I don't remember it. Again in linear time, but I'll share with you that you know, my early experiences with that. Well first of all, Sean, my youngest, that always give credit for get propelling me on a spiritual journey, right?

Helen (2): He was very emotionally over reactive and I was too, I would cry at, I still am a bit. More emotional than, uh, randomly. [00:04:00] Sometimes it feels like I would have overwhelming emotions spill over about any kind of information about death of a child. And the first time it happened to me was, was mortifying. This woman was telling me we were at pre, you know, at a preschool or maybe kindergarten, and we're watching the little kids and we're sitting at a tiny little table talking.

Helen (2): It was some event and she told me that one of her kids had died and I just started crying and couldn't even speak and she had to comfort me. It was ridiculous and mortifying. That might be the story I told if this is ringing a bell, and it was, you know, this was before I found EFT. It just felt like I was so full of pain that one little poke and it would just spill over.

Helen (2): And I was like that with anger too. I could see people arguing. That I didn't know in the distance in a movie, and I would feel rage flood in my body even though it wasn't my [00:05:00] argument. Right. And you know, I, I often said that about EFT, that before EFTI felt like life was living me and I wasn't in control of any of it.

Helen (2): And then EFT gave me a way to bring down that over full, that like tsunami of emotion that was barely held back. You know, I felt like anything could cause a leak in the dam, right? Mm-hmm. And so we come in with trauma and, uh, traumatized emotional bodies, and without the work. To heal a lot of that trauma and to ease it.

Helen (2): For me, it was energetically was the, the big answer for me. Some people do it through years and decades of therapy. Some people do it physically through exercise, running, tennis, things that move pain through their body. I didn't have control. My emotional body would just take over and it didn't matter what my rational mind or my personality wanted.[00:06:00] 

Helen (2): I can still be moved to great emotion, but now it's through love, not through anger or fear like it used to be.

Anne: Okay. I have a question then because. I won't say whose family, but there's a family that I know well that anytime, anytime, especially I would say especially the women, but you know what, it's the men too in that family. Anytime someone's talking about something religious or. Spiritual or saying a prayer.

Anne: There's, especially in a group of people, there is almost always, uh, like choking up with emotion. I've always really wondered about that and why that like all of a sudden becomes overwhelming 

Helen (2): if it's around prayer or [00:07:00] spirituality or even religion, if it's around an eternal truth. And then people are overwhelmed with emotion.

Helen (2): I call that. We get emotional with unconditional love and real love. Timeless love, because we're homesick, which is a very different thing than being over emotional around trauma or drama. 

Anne: Okay. I think I've always assumed it was trauma. Um, well, 

Helen (2): if it's consistently over, you know. Spirituality or religion?

Helen (2): I, I, well, I mean, religion was traumatic to me for many years. Yeah. Um, so I would overwhelm, uh, but my reaction was anger. So there's different ways you tear up. You could tear up an anger. Most women know this. Mm-hmm. We get the big, you know, emotional hairball in our throat and then we can't speak and it and our eyes water.

Helen (2): That's a trauma response. That 

Anne: emotional hairball hurts. And that's real. Yes. It feels [00:08:00] like a hairball. 

Helen (2): And that is, yeah, emotional hairball. That means there's so many emotions. You can't even name one. Right. So that's trauma. But when you're. Heart is full and your eyes spill over, but you're not in judgment or resistance or fear.

Helen (2): You just don't understand. That's unconditional love and we're just not used to that here. 

Anne: Hmm. 

Helen (2): Okay, so have you ever I like that. I mean, I was always em emotional, you know? Do you ever see an expression of love, like if you send me a picture of you and your boys? I mean, once you sent me a picture of them watching a tractor and you said, this makes me think of your, and how has move to tears because there was some connection that you were enjoying your boys the way I enjoyed my boys and there was a bigger, timeless love involved in that.

Helen (2): You know, that. That wasn't trauma bubbling up and [00:09:00] watering in my eyes, that was a, a heart connection to motherhood being amazing. 

Anne: Yeah. I don't feel traumatized now that I'm crying about that. Right. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Just not being used to experiencing the unconditional love feeling that comes through.

Helen (2): And if, if you're working. Diligently and consistently on clearing judgment and the ego's reactions. You want the ego to be of service to you spiritually, not running the show. Um, then even in religious language that may have triggered us when we're first on a spiritual journey, but even sometimes in the religious language, you can hear eternal truth and love in it, and it can move you because truth is, truth is truth.

Helen (2): It's just are you a match to hear it and receive it? I remember being so angry at religion in the Catholic church and just a, not a nice person about it, and just [00:10:00] always easily triggered and, and I just prayed and tapped and journaled and I wanted to make peace with the whole concept of the Catholic church.

Helen (2): And one day I had an. Outrageous epiphany without the, the religious teachings that my parents believed in. I don't think all four of us would've survived childhood. It reigned my dad's violence in just enough for us to all survive. And that was such a turning point in my mind. So what if things are good for whatever stage of consciousness we're at?

Helen (2): What if we make nothing wrong and we just stay focused in our business moving forward? What's the next level? Of truth for us. 

Anne: I think we're ready for our listener question if you are. Yes. So this week our question comes from Nina, and her question is, what's the role of grief in spiritual growth? I'm going through major loss and want to believe there's meaning in it, but right now it just feels like pain.

Helen (2): It [00:11:00] absolutely does feel like pain and there is meaning in it. So I can give you some answers. Uh, grief is the one human emotion shared through across all timelines, all cultures, all education levels. Grief is the one emotional experience that is unique. In, in itself with each individual. There's not a timeline.

Helen (2): There's not a, uh, guarantee of when you come out of the pain or how necessarily to show up in the pain while you're in it. There are things we do know about grief that as a spiritual teaching grief, is to break your heart open. Not to break it and smash it, but to expand its capacity to be open for more love.

Helen (2): And I can tell you with EFT, it can help with the pain, but it won't eliminate grief because there's no shortcuts with [00:12:00] grief. You do have to work your way through with great respect for the pain that you're experiencing. If you can, if your lifestyle, if you are able to be supported and were able to completely surrender to grief, you could come.

Helen (2): Out of it in a functioning way, in like three full days of horrific pain, emotional pain, right, with no distractions. Most of us can't do that. If you have to work like most people and you keep going through. There is, it is true that time will lessen the sharpness of the pain. And then you do wanna look at exercises, protocols that would help you receive benefit from your grief journey.

Helen (2): The one I recommend the most is the Grief Recovery Handbook. It's written by two men. It's all over the planet. You can work on it alone, but you're not complete until you read your letters to someone trained to listen. You can find groups by you. It is all over. So in the Grief Recovery Handbook, the teaching [00:13:00] is that lingering grief.

Helen (2): The grief that doesn't ever end, um, is based on uncommunicated emotion. So there is real pain in the first stages of loss and grief. It's real. There's no shortcuts. You can support yourself in it with things like tapping with body work, with quiet times, nature, but you really just have to wait it out. And then there's cleanup work if you feel trapped in grief.

Helen (2): When it doesn't seem appropriate anymore. And when I meet people in coaching and they're very successful people, they know how to think they, they know how to take right action and they're doing everything that sounds logical and reasonable and and intelligent, and they're not making progress. I always immediately know they've got grief that's unresolved and I guide them to a grief recovery handbook for sure.

Helen (2): So grief is about the deep river of the [00:14:00] souls. It is something that can elevate us spiritually. It can elevate our compassion for humanity, or it can just hold us in lockdown till we find help coming out. 

Anne: That's so beautiful. What, um, you said the deep river of the soul. Can you go more in that at all?

Helen (2): Well, if you could visualize it that, you know, there's a river. That people would go to say, if you, you think of a more indigenous time on earth, everybody at some point goes to this river, whether it's at this end or 50 or a hundred miles down the river. People have to go to the river for the experience of water and washing and bathing and um, you know, life force.

Helen (2): Well, it's the life force of the soul being in the adventure. The adventure of evolution of consciousness in human form, that river of grief is something we all [00:15:00] share. If you're brave enough to feel it, you can stay unconscious and repress it. And then usually the side effects are anger and cruelty, and your heart shuts down, or like you being brave enough to ask about it.

Helen (2): To honor it, to acknowledge it, to name it, to validate it. That's profound spiritual work. And so I, I wish every human alive that's awakening or interested in self-growth would read the Grief Recovery Handbook. I think every mother, every parent, it would be so helpful because our country's really weird about grief and we don't know how to handle it or show up.

Helen (2): If my husband's going to a funeral, you know, work-related funeral or something, and I'm not gonna be with him, he'll, he'll always say, tell me what to not say again. And I'll just run through it. These are the cliches that we've been taught to say that are not helpful at all. [00:16:00] And how do you honor somebody in grief?

Helen (2): You don't say any of these stupid cliches that are not helpful. Like what? You just like, it's God's will. They're in a better place. Mm-hmm. It's okay. This'll turn out good. You're strong. You can handle it. You know things that have like zero meaning when you're in grief, they're just hurtful. You know, what you wanna do with somebody in grief, including yourself, is be in the energy of patience and kindness and not try to make yourself feel better and witnessing it.

Helen (2): So usually we say stupid cliches 'cause we want to feel better. Right. Because they're not really helping the person. Yeah. If you are in a position where you, you wanna talk to the person, it's more like, um, tell me, is there something I could do for you? Just let me know. And if not. You know, tell me how, what are you thinking about?

Helen (2): Where were you when you heard, you know, if it's appropriate, but usually just a hug and just [00:17:00] standing there quietly and letting them speak if they want to is powerful. If you can be quiet, if you can create that safe space where the emotion of grief can come up, um, that is the most healing Christ consciousness work you will ever do.

Helen (2): And if you're the one in grief, you know, give it time. And then you'll have a knowing like this is too much, too long. Then educate yourself and get the help you need. And again, I recommend Grief Recovery or any grief counselor. They know what they're doing to help humans come through this, this deep river of the soul.

Helen (2): That's a true immersion experience through human form, so that your heart can be opened instead of traumatized forever. Uh, you did say that you'd have a knowing or a feeling, but like grief is all consuming in the beginning. You can't think of anything. You're just in lockdown with pain. You can't even describe the pain.

Helen (2): It's like mental, emotional, [00:18:00] spiritual, physical. You can't think you brain fog. It's all the bodies. You can't side things. You definitely shouldn't sign any legal documents when you're in grief. And then eventually. Time does change it. It doesn't heal it, but it changes it, and that's when you would seek help outside source of help, whether it's a book or a counselor or a therapist, not a friend who's not trained in it, but somebody who knows what they're doing so that you can efficiently and effectively come through with benefit instead of just surviving it.

Anne: If someone seems to be in perpetual state of the, the fog, is there a point at which a concerned person should step in or, 

Helen (2): Nope. Most of humanity's in that fog because we've all lived through horrific things, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, karmically, uh, childhood. I mean, it's a tough gig being human.

Helen (2): Most people remain in that fog. You cannot help somebody who has not asked for help. [00:19:00] You can't. You can make it worse, you can get frustrated, and yet, unless somebody says, I want help, it's not your business to intervene. Maybe with a child, I would take a child to a therapist whether they wanted to go or not.

Helen (2): But with an a functioning adult, it's, you would just not be helping. You would be hurting. You could pray for them. You could, you know, help them. If it's possible to physically help so they have more time. Mm-hmm. You know, griefs a weird beast, but it's there. But to find your way through that dark night with grief, it's, you gotta have quiet time.

Helen (2): It's very hard. And yet people can't receive unless they are ready to receive. They just can't. It's part of being human. We can't receive it earlier than we can. 

Anne: It's so true. Well, do you have a question for Nina? 

Helen (2): Well, first I wanna say Nina, I'm so [00:20:00] sorry you're going through this pain. It is real. It's very real, and your pain will be as deep as your love was.

Helen (2): That might explain to you how the intensity level. And so when you're ready, you know, highly recommend you, or even now, order the book from Amazon. Keep it in your house, just the frequency of it. And then when you're ready, go through it with a friend or find a group near you and you will know. You'll be like, and this is enough.

Helen (2): I need to. Something has to change and that's when you get help or find a grief counselor in your area that your insurance covers. Or of course now they work over Zoom too. You'll know when it's time you'll be sick of the pain and want something different. 

Anne: This was a heavy one, but really beautiful. So thank you Nina, for bravely writing in.

Anne: I know it's not, not easy necessarily, and thanks for being vulnerable and sharing with us. [00:21:00] 

Helen (2): Because it blesses us all, Nina. It does. It does. So it does. Thank you for your courage, and I will be holding you close in prayer that 

Anne: you might find ease and peace in your grief journey. Alrightyy. Well, thank you so much, Helen.

Anne: Thanks for being here. Thank you. Thank you. Hi. Thanks everyone for listening. We'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye. That's all for today. We'll be back next Thursday with our next episode. You can subscribe if you'd like to get new episodes when they drop, and reviewing and sharing the pod will help others find our community.

Anne: We love getting your questions at hello@metaphysicalstreetsmarts.com and enjoy connecting with you on Instagram or wherever you've found us at Metaphysical Street Smarts. You can leave comments or questions there, which may be featured on our rapid fire segment. For information on upcoming events and consults with Helen, please visit Helen Ray's.

Anne: Dot com. That's [00:22:00] H-E-L-E-N-R-A-C z.com. 

Helen (2): We invite you to re-listen. Join us on our next episode, send us questions because it is our intent to support you at this tumultuous time on Earth into the best experience of you. 

Anne: Thanks for being here. Until next time, stay [00:23:00] grounded.