Anne: [00:00:00] Hi, I am Anne, and I'm Helen. And welcome to Metaphysical Street Smarts. What is Metaphysical Street Smarts? Helen 

Helen: Physical is everything you can see with your human eye. You can see, touch, feel, taste as a human. Metaphysical. Is that what you cannot see? Wifi microwave energy. When you feel somebody staring at you, you can't really feel eyesight.

Helen: So metaphysical is that what you can't perceive with the human eye? Street smarts means let's take the woowoo, the energetic, the airy fairy, and add it to logic so that you can have a better experience of yourself. In this one. 

Anne: As always, we invite you to take what blesses you and leave the rest. We're so glad you're here.

Anne: Let's jump in. Okay. Hi Helen. Hi Anne. How are you this week? I'm doing [00:01:00] well. I, uh. I started a Juujitsu class. Oh my goodness. I've just been, I've been reading a lot of books with these women who fight and I'm like, I need something really physical to do, and this sounds like so much fun. So I went and joined a class and it's just at our local rec center, and it's me and this.

Anne: Girl in junior high, the other people didn't show up, but her mom was there too, so I convinced her to join in and the, and so it was just me, this teenager and her mom and, and the instructor. And this girl is, uh, her mom showing. In such an awesome way for her and getting her into this self-defense class.

Anne: 'cause she's in junior high and she's being bullied and threatened. And so we just spent, because the men in the class didn't show up, we got to put all the attention on this teenager and we did [00:02:00] like self-defense for typical teenage girl fighting styles. And it was so awesome. She, she started out so timid.

Anne: And she didn't wanna, she didn't wanna like yell in the exercise and I was like, well, what if we closed the door? Then would you be more comfy? We closed that door. She started going off and by the end of the class she was stomping her feet and yelling and it was so awesome. Anyway, that just stuck with me this week.

Anne: That's my new thing now. I do jiujitsu. And How's your body? I just know, you know, martial arts, that's a lot of exercise. I mean, this was. The first class and it was very minor. 

Helen: And how did you feel seeing this young woman come out of that? Uh, timid state into a little more secure confidence. I mean, that had to be, that had to affect you right to 

Anne: it.

Anne: Oh, yeah. I am. I'm very invested in her. [00:03:00] I'm like, yeah, we're gonna have some follow up. See you next week. Tell me how your week goes. 

Helen: And you know how it works, vibrationally? Yes. Tell me when she feels confident, like emoting verbally. Like she didn't at first stomping her feet, um, letting you and her mom and the instructor.

Helen: Push her, push her out of comfort zones. It's not that she'll ever need to defend herself maybe once or twice, but ideally, the more confident she gets in her body, the more grounded she gets in her body. She won't be bullied. 

Anne: Yeah. 

Helen: So bullies vibrationally, you know, they have like an internal GPS we're picking people they can pick on.

Helen: Mm-hmm. And they will ignore the people that aren't a vibrational match. Isn't that fascinating? 

Anne: It is. And I think that. I mean, we can see that just over and over again. Every single person has examples of when they've been bullied or bullied or seen other people bullied and that it matches. It doesn't mean it's the [00:04:00] per it's.

Anne: The person being bullied, it's their fault. It's just at all. Yeah, 

Helen: at all. It's just that they, you know, they haven't found that core center of confidence and so many of us haven't. I mean, I certainly didn't have it younger. I didn't get bullied that much. Um. You know, part of it is just the bullying invites you.

Helen: It's like a spiritual agreement to, Hey, you need to learn how to embody well. Right. None of it is because you're wrong or bad or lacking. It's like, what's the invitation there? 

Anne: I said that to her like, as we were putting our shoes on at the end, I was like, I'm really sorry you're going through this, and. I can so see in your, in the story of your life, this is your like character arc and this is where you like.

Anne: Become a total batty and, and like really step into what you're becoming. And she was like, yeah, I know I'm totally going to be a villain. I was like, well, you could if you want it, [00:05:00] you could if you want. I think villain means something different and that makes you cool. So yeah, if you wanna be a villain in a cool way, 

Helen: you go right ahead.

Helen: You do 

Anne: it. I'm here for it anyway. I just loved that. 

Helen: It was so fun. How's your week been? Very good. And that that just has me have such a fun memory. So my boys are giants. I don't know if it was the prenatal vitamins or home cooked meals, but they're giants. And I remember Sean telling me, I don't even know how it came up, or somebody else told me he would stand next to the kids bullied.

Helen: And I'm like, you do what? And he says, well, I just stand by them. And I'm like, are you friends with them? He goes, well, no. I don't wanna be friends with everybody. I just stand there. And the bullies think twice. And I'm like, oh. I'm like, well that's, that makes me feel proud as a mother. I'm just like, right.

Helen: But isn't that, that's interesting to me. He knew at that age that the bullies [00:06:00] didn't really wanna fight. They didn't wanna fair fight. 

Anne: Mm-hmm. 

Helen: And I didn't. And I don't even know that Sean's ever been in a fight. I guess I could ask, but maybe I don't wanna know. Um, he just used his size. And my younger brother was big too, and people used to provoke fights with him.

Helen: Hmm. So that's really interesting to me too. In one generation it it's different. 

Anne: Yeah. It's another, I mean, it's the energy again, both. And it's 

Helen: also whatever your soul came into explore because. I mean, you can get bullied in corporate America, in the grocery store anywhere. Oh my gosh, that's so true. And you can just be somebody who didn't have that experience.

Helen: And so that's why I always go back to the teaching, Hey, you don't control much. But what you could do is be co-creative in how do I wanna show up in this? 

Anne: Mm-hmm. 

Helen: What quality of experience do I want in this crazy life ex thing [00:07:00] that we call being human? 

Anne: Yeah. How do I wanna show up? I, I guess I didn't even think about that.

Anne: What do I wanna say at the end of the day about how I showed up here? 

Helen: Yeah. And I would just suggest perfectly at the beginning of the day. 

Anne: Yeah. Clarify it at that beginning of the day, for the end of the day. Okay, so what ques, oh, cosmic Nudge Girlfriend. What do we got? Oh, yeah. I was thinking about what we would use for the cosmic nudge this week, and I just had this experience that I had at our retreat pop into my head of, I was doing a session with Natalie who was there, and I don't remember what modality she uses, but it was body work, right?

Anne: Yeah, it was body work. 

Helen: Is that what it's, well, I think she's actually a doctor. She has like. You know, certifications in physiology, spinal manipulation. I think she's has all the [00:08:00] medical scientific degrees too, but then she's got an energy take, intuitive psychic take. 

Anne: I wasn't sure if there had, if there was like a specific label for what she does, but I do, she did call it body work and uh, I don't remember the whole thing, but I do remember this part.

Anne: Um, where again had a lot of like anger around unhealthy masculinity come up and then transitioned into, I just had this thought of healthy masculinity to me feels like the sun feels on my body. It feels warm, it feels empowering, it feels so fun and energetic and. It makes me wanna take action and I just had like father, son and mother moon come into my head and I, it's airy fairy, [00:09:00] but it's been so cool to just have different, have that pop up at different times in my week.

Anne: My weeks since that retreat and just get to remember, I have a deep affinity with and for the sun. I'm a Leo, I'm, I am a sun sign. My chart is ruled by the sun and relating and, and basking and like how yummy that feels to imagine that presence as masculinity and all the positive ways that it impacts my life has just been really.

Anne: Nice and makes a difference to me somehow. So maybe that will make a difference to someone else as well. 

Helen: The sun that gives to the plants so that they grow. And the sun that can burn our skin. The sun that can wear down wood and paint and cause forest fires, right? Lightning. But sun can start fires too.

Helen: Um, and the sun that can [00:10:00] nurture. Yeah. Whether it's masculine or feminine, it can go other direction. Right. Extremes or the hard parts. 

Anne: Yeah. 

Helen: But that is interesting. I imagine this week I'll be thinking about that too. All right, so do we have a question? This week we do this. Who was brave enough? Shelby.

Helen: Shelby back for 

Anne: round two. Um, oh, thank you, Shelby. Yeah. She sent in a question. Shelby sent in a question, how can I revisit my feelings when they arise at a time when I don't have time to fully deal with them? I feel like I often she feelings down or maybe stop to recognize it, but then move on because I'm busy or can't give it the attention it needs right then.

Anne: And then I never go back to it. I'd love to change, but I'm finding that difficult 

Helen: as we all find change difficult. Shelby, great question. So I have a exercise. I've given, oh my gosh, hundreds of clients and the clients that [00:11:00] actually follow through, uh, always have results. So the protocol works, it's just a matter of can you make it happen for you.

Helen: So usually. Mo, more often than not, we come in with certain thought patterns that create certain emotional patterns, um, over and over and over. So the emotions that you think you're repressing or ignoring, because you need to in that moment, and kudos to you not going, you know. Postal in inappropriate moments, kudos to you for managing that.

Helen: You just don't wanna drop the ball and keep shoving them under because that is what leads to going postal. And, um, you know, going postal is just a symbolism of stuffing emotion, stuffing emotion. And then one day it irrationally, illogically, erupts out of proportion to the situation. You know, other things or you know, the straw that broke the [00:12:00] camel's back.

Helen: And so we don't want to keep shoving emotion aside, it's appropriate when you're in public. It's appropriate when you're at work. It's appropriate when you're around family or little people. You do wanna carve out time. So maybe if we give you this exercise, it would give you a format, you know, um, a place to actually work with it.

Helen: So here are the, the rules, the masculine framework. So rules and law, spiritual laws of being more masculine, energy feminine is. Crazy feeling. So emotion can be yummy. Connection, lovey-dovey and feminine out of balance can be the resentment, the anger, you know, the intense emotion, right? So what we wanna look at is what are the emotions that you had to push aside to function well and not cause violence or damage energetically, verbally, physically, to anyone?[00:13:00] 

Helen: Could you create. A consistent time. Now, the rules I usually give people are three minutes, uh, five times a week. You know, that would be like every morning or maybe for, you know, 15 minutes every weekend. But you, the important part is that you pick a commitment and you honor it as much as you would honor, say.

Helen: If you booked, um, a coaching session with me or lunch, you know, or even a friendship lunch, if you were gonna stand me up, you would text me and say, Hey, I can't make it. Can we reschedule? So you wanna be the loving, authoritative, not authoritarian, but authoritative parent of the emotional body by scheduling and honoring the schedule.

Helen: And then here's what you do in the, when you get to your time, whether it's once a week or. Five times a week or whatever schedule you pick. That makes sense. You put your tush in [00:14:00] a chair. You have pen and paper. You do not move your tush from the chair until your timer goes off. Set your timer for three minutes.

Helen: You take a notebook or journal and you make sure it's just one notebook or one journal that you don't write anything else in. No gratitudes, no spirituality, no notes. Nothing else except the victim energy. So it could be the Resentment journal, the victim journal, the Anger Journal, the Anxiousness Journal, the Worry Journal.

Helen: The favorite title I've heard to date is The Dark Side. I love that. But whatever it is, you're creating a sacred, safe space for the emotional body to spew all its trauma in while you as the human, that's more than just emotions holds. A respectful, kind, patient [00:15:00] boundary for it, right? So you're not making it wrong.

Helen: You're not negating it. It's like if you, if you're a parent or you know somebody with children, it's like if they're gonna throw temper tantrum, it's ideally you teach them. Not in the restaurant, not in the store. Let's go home. You need to have a hissy fit. Do it now. I'll make sure you're safe. You don't hit furniture, you don't get, you know, other people don't judge you.

Helen: That you're totally safe, right? And, um, that's what you wanna do is be the loving parent to your traumatized emotional body. So you set the timer for three minutes, put your butt in the chair, have the journal and the pen, and you don't move till the timer goes off. And what's fun is your emotional body will mess with you.

Helen: The first time you sit there, nothing will come up. And that's where I say just scribble or write ugly words or think of something that gets you triggered. It won't trust you. You have to build a relationship with the [00:16:00] traumatized emotional body. Um. Once it trusts you, you, you just write for three whole minutes every snarky thought.

Helen: Well, let's say you're working on, um, resentment. Then you write everything resentful. Or say you're working on overwhelm. Then you write down, I feel overwhelmed when, and it feels like this. I feel like I'm gonna explode. It feels like I'm gonna cry. You just write only on that traumatized emotion, or as though that traumatized emotion is thinking out loud.

Helen: And then the timer goes off. If you just opened a flood, then you reset your timer for three minutes and you keep going if you can. If you can't, you say, emotional body. I'll be back with you and you name the next time you have it scheduled tomorrow or this or next weekend, and you honor it. Now, here's the beauty of this exercise.

Helen: If you really do it like this in your day. [00:17:00] When those big emotions wanna storm and run over you, you say? Mm-hmm. I have you scheduled, I'm gonna be fully present with you at so and so time, and everybody who's done this exercise, I've had people do it for sadness, for overwhelm, for anger, for resentment, for fear.

Helen: Um, I think that covers probably most of them, uh, for guilt. Uh. They've had amazing results. So 

Anne: I did it for two months when we first started together and at the two month mark, I was like, okay, Helen, I've been doing it for two months. Can I stop now? And you were because, because I feel like I just don't have anything more to write about.

Anne: And you were. I think maybe you should keep going. So I kept going and I did it for a year because I And what did you notice? Well, I noticed that at two months my body was like [00:18:00] kind of, or whatever. Part of me was like, oh, okay, cool. We've gotten through all the kind of like shallow stuff, but apparently wasn't willing or ready, didn't quite trust that I was there for myself yet.

Anne: And so. After I recommitted to it. I mean, I was, I was doing it the whole time, but after you said, I think you should keep going, I was like, okay, I guess I will. I'm gonna commit to a year of this. And I felt safe and I got through a lot of stuff that was deeper and more impactful for me. So, 

Helen: and what did you notice?

Helen: Like in the daytime It didn't come up as much, right? 

Anne: Yeah. And when it did, I mean. It. It didn't take away the initial intensity. I still was having things come up. It's not like I got a free pass because I was doing this scheduled, but [00:19:00] it did help to know it's okay. We're gonna take care of, I will take care of this later.

Anne: And right now we're gonna get back to what we're doing. It made it a lot easier to, to show up the way I wanted to show up. Exactly. 

Helen: Yeah. And when you can not repress, ignore, and validate intense emotion, you're smarter, you're kinder, you have more choice, you're more present. Right? And guys, the human experience, it doesn't matter what culture, what country, what generation, what gender.

Helen: What, what income bracket, what sexual preference, what, um, you know, how you live. We, none of us get to escape the emotions good and bad. And yet for some reason that's not common knowledge. And so it shocks me that [00:20:00] we're not taught how do you deal with all these emotions that come up? You're not the emotion, and yet they're real.

Helen: You know, science today has decided to claim that in our DNA, we have inherited emotion from our ancestors. Isn't that fascinating? Yeah. Like I have freckles on my face, right? Mm-hmm. I also have strong, unresolved emotion from my ancestral line, and so you might have emotions that don't make sense to you, well, you inherit them just like freckles or height or skin tone or personality traits.

Helen: Or, you know, beautiful gifts like musical gifts or artistic gifts or writing gifts. And so emotions aren't really ours. They absolutely come through our lifetimes for experience. And so you wanna get clear, how do I wanna be with them? How do I wanna show up in it? [00:21:00] So, Shelby, Anne, and I challenge you.

Helen: Mm-hmm. Commit to a year, three minutes. What'd you do, Anne? Did you do it every day once a week? Do you remember? 

Anne: I did it during the week. I did it five days a week. I did five. I think I did. I started at five minutes. I went down to three, and that worked just fine with me. I would up it if I needed to at the end of the time, like we talked about.

Anne: And then I had a. If it calls to me on the weekend, I'll do it on the weekend. Um, and that was okay 'cause I had the definite schedule in there for during the week. 

Helen: Isn't it nice to, to, um, to have that experience where you can say, well, this is real, this is happening. I'm really feeling it and I know what to do with it.

Helen: And so one example I've given. You know, it works for parents, but most of us can picture this. So if you have kids, like Ann has two boys and they're younger, when Ann does art time with them, she probably puts down a [00:22:00] plastic tablecloth and you know, there's paper towels and it's time for art and it's messy and whatever.

Helen: That's great. And then when it's not time for art, we put away all these things and we don't make big messes like that with paint and clay or whatever we're doing just throughout the whole day. You know, there's a scheduled time when you're at work. You dress appropriately for work. You speak professional language, hopefully.

Helen: Right? Not everybody, but we would hope. Um, and when there's a time to relax and watch tv, you know, you sit on the couch, eat popcorn. It's like we do this normally as humans for everything. And yet it's so interesting that we haven't been taught, do it with your emotions to so that it's safer for you and for everybody else.

Helen: Because here's the thing, if you're gonna repress it, ignore it and validate it, make it wrong, well then repressed emotion shows up as sickness in the body. So you really wanna be able [00:23:00] to, in a very loving, kind, kind, intelligent, logistical way, make a space for them. And what happens is they dissipate. And makes, and when they are dissipating, you have more capacity for joy and love and creativity and fun.

Anne: I think I'm gonna recommit to, uh, I think I'm gonna do just a little refresh on this. Get back into it a little bit. 

Helen: Yeah. And remember when you use the egoic mind for which is way measure and compare to say, I'm gonna do it three minutes a day, X amount of times on these days for a month or six months or a year, whatever you say.

Helen: Mm-hmm. The ego will work with you. 

Anne: Yeah. 

Helen: And the benefit is amazing. 

Anne: Yeah. 

Helen: Right. So kudos to you. Um, and anybody out there taking the challenge on. Yeah, 

Anne: [00:24:00] absolutely. Uh, you won't regret it. If you're willing to commit to it, you will not regret it. I would guarantee it. But this is free, so

Anne: the cost is your time. We guarantee it Anyway, it's worth it. Alright, well thanks for another wonderful week Helen. Thank you for your Helen challenge this week. And uh, anything else you wanna add? 

Helen: No, that's it. Just, um, the reminder. Be loving and kind, be the loving parent to your crazy mind, your crazy emotional body, and your good mind and your good emotional body that you always wanted.

Helen: 'cause you deserve it 

Anne: no matter who you are. All right, thanks again, Helen. We'll see you next week. Sounds good. Thank you everybody. Bye-bye. Take care everyone. That's all for today. We'll be back next Thursday with our next episode. You can subscribe if you'd like to get new episodes when they drop and reviewing [00:25:00] and sharing the pod will help others find our community.

Anne: We love getting your questions at hello@metaphysicalstreetsmarts.com and enjoy connecting with you on Instagram or wherever you've found us at Metaphysical Street Smarts. You can leave comments or questions there, which may be featured on our rapid fire segment. For information on upcoming events and consults with Helen, please visit Helen Ray's.

Anne: Dot com. That's H-E-L-E-N-R-A-C z.com. 

Helen: We invite you to re-listen. Join us on our next episode, send us questions because it is our intent to support you at this tumultuous time on Earth into the best experience of you. 

Anne: Thanks for being here. Until next time, stay [00:26:00] grounded.