Anne: [00:00:00] Hi, I am Anne, and I'm Helen. And welcome to Metaphysical Street Smarts. What is Metaphysical Street Smarts? Helen 

Helen: Physical is everything you can see with your human eye. You can see, touch, feel, taste as a human. Metaphysical. Is that what you cannot see? Wifi microwave energy. When you feel somebody staring at you, you can't really feel eyesight.

Helen: So metaphysical is that what you can't perceive with the human eye? Street smarts means let's take the woowoo, the energetic, the airy fairy, and add it to logic so that you can have a better experience of yourself. In this one. 

Anne: As always, we invite you to take what blesses you and leave the rest. We're so glad you're here.

Anne: Let's jump in. Hi, Helen. Hey, Anne. How's it going? So good. How are you doing? [00:01:00] 

Helen: I'm doing good. I'm, uh, always happy to be here with you. Always love these, uh, questions. I love your cosmic nudge. I love what information comes through. I love that you set this up. I just really appreciate it. 

Anne: Well, I love that you're here and that you're, you're willing to share your wisdom.

Anne: It's good for me. And I hear it's good for other people too, so that's good. Um, I had a question. What's something mundane that felt magical this week? And we kind we're talking before we started recording and you were saying that. Well, everything feels magical. I don't know if anything's mundane. I was like, yeah, that feels like the right answer for you.

Helen: You know? I think it's, I think it's, Einstein says it's all a miracle or nothing is, and yet I feel very surrounded by magic. Like right now, you know, we've talked about this before, the flower garden for the butterflies and the hummingbirds. I don't have the hummers yet, but you [00:02:00] know, we'll see a couple of butterflies.

Helen: I mean, it's magical that out of the teeniest, tiniest seed, I now have like tons of flowers and leaves. I have tomatoes growing, um, randomly. They just came up from last year, I guess. And, um, it's magical that I have, uh, you know, delicious things to drink. Technology, the refrigerator, like. I, I guess it's my intention to not see things as mundane, to be in such a heightened state of gratitude, and yet I will share some magic with you.

Helen: Um, a friend of mine was looking to move. She's been in the same apartment for 17 years and she couldn't find an apartment easy to get downtown with a two car garage. Well, she could've taken a one car garage, excuse me, right? And. She would've taken a one car [00:03:00] garage, and yet the rents would've been so high.

Helen: She decided to buy, and I just met a realtor. We were looking at the house she's buying, and they've looked at 57 places in the last three months. A lot were rentals. She would put in an offer and miss it, and then this house I is her house for sure, and it was magical. On July 4th, she got a notice on her phone.

Helen: So she told Realtor, I wanna see this. And she's like, I haven't seen that advertised. It just came up. And then she called a mortgage person that her hairdresser or friend or somebody, I can't even remember who suggested. And on July 4th, they were able to not just qualify her, but actually pre-approve her loan.

Helen: I don't know how, on July 4th. Whoa. And she put in the offer and it's accepted. And so I was there with her for the inspection. The guy was delightful. There's just. Miracle after Miracle Magic [00:04:00] all around. 

Anne: It just lined up, just lined up for her. That's awesome. 

Helen: After all that trying, she educated herself and she, I, I love this person.

Helen: She's a close friend of mine and yet I love her so much and she says, um. Okay. I had a moment that I didn't have a garden hose and I was freaking out and she goes, it is fascinating watching my emotions through this. Don't 

Anne: you love 

Helen: it? 

Anne: Totally. That buyer's remorse kicks in so hard. You gotta breathe through it.

Anne: Remember that you can buy a garden hose, right, and it'll be okay. And it's 

Helen: like, you know, emotions. You don't get to control when they wanna rear their, their intensity and pick something to be afraid over. And what I like to remind everybody is fear. Whether it's a garden hose or something bigger. Um, fear is always about not enough information.

Helen: And so I [00:05:00] did remind her, you can just remind your, your. Ego self that you can, you don't know what it's like to have a garden hose and use it, and that's okay. You will learn 

Anne: notoriously easy to operate as long as you have a good one. Well, 

Helen: here's the really fun part. She doesn't even need a hose. She has a sprinkler system and it's not much landscaping, but it's.

Helen: It's beautiful landscaping. Uh, but there's a sprinkler system. So when we got there, I was laughing. I'm like, you don't even need a hose. 

Anne: Oh, look at you, you're gonna be okay. Turns out, 

Helen: and that's the truth of it, right? We have crazy emotions over the weirdest things, but it's really because the big ones, we're afraid of the unknown.

Helen: We're afraid of expanding out of our previous comfort zone. 

Anne: Makes everything feel bigger in that moment. We just get, get through it. Get to do it. 

Helen: Yeah. Usually when we act crazy or have crazy thoughts and feelings, [00:06:00] you know, later you look at 'em and you're like, what was that about? 

Anne: Right? Well, why did I care so much?

Helen: And I think we talked about it in a year earlier episode. That's the straw that broke the camel's back. Mm-hmm. Or that's the fear that you haven't looked at and spent time with to say, yeah, this is scary. This is a big deal. 

Anne: Mm-hmm. 

Helen: And it's scary buying a house when you haven't in a long time. 

Anne: Absolutely.

Anne: It's huge, huge commitment. And it can also be small things that trigger it too, but that is very justified.

Anne: Okay. We ready for our cosmic nudge for the week? 

Helen: Yes, please. 

Anne: Okay, so I was thinking about our nudge for this week and. What kept coming in my mind is, um, just thinking back to the Scottish festival that I went to a few weeks ago with my little family [00:07:00] and, uh, we, they have the Highland games there and we got to, we got there in time to watch the women compete.

Anne: And I love watching the women compete in these like traditional men's athletics. For, for the Scots and just, it's such a good reminder for me to see women who have body types like mine be athletic and strong. And it's such a good reminder to me that there are all kinds of people and bodies and everything on earth.

Anne: And I think sometimes I've forgotten. That, uh, I am not just allowed, but it's really important that I celebrate and am myself and celebrate my body and what it's made to do. I'm, [00:08:00] I'm never just personally, I'm not going to be, you know, doing back flips and backhand springs and gymnastics and, you know, that.

Anne: Obviously it looks really cool and, uh, I'm not going to be the one skateboarding and doing tricks and 'cause I love, I love to be active and athletic and, but it just looks different for me and I have different things that my body's really good at. And I think if I focus on what I'm not good at or not able to do.

Anne: Yet that I can get lost in feeling like what I have isn't enough or doesn't look the way I want it to. And it's just fun to get to focus on, oh, that's something I can do. That's one way to be strong. I just love the diversity in, in all the different ways that being strong. Strong. So I have a [00:09:00] picture of you going.

Helen: To one of those places with the ax throwing. 

Anne: Yeah, totally. That's me. Like I and the jitsu, right? Yeah. I'm a really grounded, sturdy, strong person. I'm not gonna be spinning and flipping through the air. That's not, I am very, like, I've got a really strong base. Try and knock me over. I dare you. And, uh, I just, I just get those moments where I have.

Anne: Real clarity on, oh my gosh, it's, it's so okay to be me, and I really do love celebrating my part in the diversity on earth. So just, that's what came up. So that's what I'm saying for this week. 

Helen: Well, I saw this movie, it was with Morgan Freeman and it was called a good person. And it was such an intense movie.

Helen: These people had [00:10:00] incredibly difficult life challenges and he had a tattoo on his wrist and it was in Latin, and he didn't know what it was at first and at the end of the movie, I don't wanna give anything away, but at the end of the movie, again, this, this man had a really challenging. Life calling at the end of the movie.

Helen: He said What it meant is Amar fat, which is Latin for love, your fate, FATE, or love your life. And this movie had a profound effect on me because I'm like, you know, maybe my life started hard. I wouldn't wish my early years on anybody. Um, and yet my life today is like so yummy, easy, amazing. Incredibly good.

Helen: It's like, why wouldn't I be able to list out 24 7? And so I ordered, you can order ta, temporary tattoos. Um, I ordered it. I keep forgetting to put it on. I [00:11:00] wanna wear it more and, and look at it. Could I have permission to love my life and could you have permission to love your body just as it is? And then two, you know, my.

Helen: Uh, sixties. Could I love this body? Uh, that seems, that's gotten easier for me. It's fascinating, isn't it? How in America we tend to have been in the energies of what's wrong? What don't we have? Mm-hmm. Scarcity thoughts. Instead of what we're rocking and why, why do we think we need more? It's like amazing how much we have.

Anne: Yeah. And that what I'm rocking doesn't have to be the same as what everyone else is really good at. Actually. We need people to be good at different things. We don't want people to be everyone to be good at the same thing. That doesn't help us or look the same [00:12:00] us. No. 

Helen: Or E I'm always surprised at how many people my age wanna look 30.

Helen: I'm like, why do we all wanna look the same? 

Anne: Mm-hmm. We just want a generic age. Everyone's just, that's same. 

Helen: It's fascinating being human, isn't it? We have such weird thoughts and, and so, you know, in a broader perspective, that's the ego playing with scarcity thoughts. 

Anne: Mm-hmm. 

Helen: You should be better. Perfect.

Helen: Do everything. Perfect. Look. Look, I don't know what perfect would be. 'cause we all are so diverse. 

Anne: Yeah. And I got to celebrate me and how, how I am. So anyway, let's find just more of that. You ready for our question for the week? Absolutely. What do we got? Okay, so Amy sent in a question this week, how can I hold boundaries with my kids, especially when they push hard without slipping into control or guilt?

Anne: Controlling, I'm [00:13:00] assuming, or guilt. 

Helen: Hmm. That can be hard if you were raised with the guilt guilting, right. The, the parents who didn't have all the opportunities today. And Amy, I do wanna validate that it is tricky with kids today. Um, kids are coming in very different. And here's the thing, you'll, you've probably already noticed, they are vibrationally tuned.

Helen: To push the buttons because they don't respect anything that's not authentic. And so if you could see these challenges with your children as an invitation to keep evolving out of what you experienced as a child, you might take it less personally and find more empowerment in it. So, so the first thing I always say to parents is.

Helen: Find out what's age appropriate for this day and age for children today because that will support you in speaking the right [00:14:00] language, the right wording, the right energy to kids to get the response you want. If it's just about boundaries for you to feel better, they will push all your buttons. If you know like Anne has a mission statement, safe and fun.

Helen: Right. She can tell her kids, Hey, I'm choosing this because it keeps you safe while we're having fun. Or, I'm choosing this because it keeps our home safe, or it sets us up to have fun later. Right? If you know your mission statement as a mom and you use it, the kids that are coming in today, they're so much more evolved than before.

Helen: You wanna be able to tell them what you're choosing and why. Now, for me personally. I made a rule that I would never say no without a reason, and I was shocked what I learned about myself. It was kind of embarrassing. And yet this had so many benefits to it because, um, when I [00:15:00] realized that a lot of my nos were just 'cause I was too lazy to clean up after him, or, you know, just didn't feel like it.

Helen: I was like, that's not who I wanna be. And then it went further. When I never said no without a reason, I kind of taught myself to look at a broader perspective and my kids learned to be very proactive in the way they think it was amazing. And wouldn't we all like to be treated that way? We don't wanna be told no or even yes, without a little more information to get us to the next level.

Helen: Of goodness and, and possibility and potentiality. You know, if I'm gonna go to the dentist and pay them to hurt me, I wanna know what the payoff is. And if I wanna give up a bad habit, I wanna know what I'm choosing instead and what the benefit is that I'm aiming for. And so if you could bring that into, um, into how you speak to your [00:16:00] children, it would take a high level of clarity of what your target really is.

Helen: So I'm not a big believer in the concept of speak your boundaries 'cause nobody ever listens. It's have clarity, have emotional, mental, heart, mind, or masculine feminine alignment to the boundary that you are creating in knowing why you've chosen it, how it benefits you, and how it benefits others and speak that.

Helen: To whoever you're inviting to honor it, and they will. And then eventually, when you live in that level of clarity, you don't have to speak it so much. If you're consistent, your children will trust you. And yes, I have adult men that's still hard to believe, right? And they will call me for advice because they know that I, it's not Helen's personality that's gonna advise them.

Helen: It's, let me hear what you're. Wanting advice on, and let me give you some [00:17:00] suggestions. And you pick what fits you. 

Anne: Yeah. 'cause they're picking the goal. 

Helen: Yeah. And so advice is really only, what's our big picture? What's your end in mind? And I'll give you wisdom that I have that you don't yet to help you get there.

Helen: Right. Which is so different than what we all grew up with, where people tell you, do it my way. It's like, well, you're not very happy. Why would I wanna do that? Right. So yeah, I invite you to just get clear on what's your target as a mother with these children, guiding them and be able to speak it. Hey guys, I'm gonna put my foot down about this because it gives us this.

Helen: Or I'm gonna say no to that because of this and that doesn't fit what I want to, you know, be as your mom and then I'm gonna say yes to that. Here's what I need to do to set it up. Or here's what you need to do so we can have that. And this teaches your children how to [00:18:00] think instead of just judge you, fear you, resent you for laying down the law with no broader picture.

Anne: Makes sense. It's a 

Helen: different skill to have for sure. And it's helped me even beyond children for sure. 

Anne: I'm remembering some conversation I, we've talked about. I mean, this is a big topic for a lot of people. Um, I think you said before this popped in that we can't parent from what we were lacking in our, in our own childhood anymore.

Anne: That. The kids won't let you. Yeah. They'll challenge 

Helen: you, 

Anne: but looking back doesn't work anymore. 

Helen: Well, looking back can give you information on what doesn't work anymore. 

Anne: Okay. 

Helen: And if you didn't like it as a child, why would you repeat it? Mm-hmm. I only repeated it because I wasn't awake yet and I wasn't in choice.

Helen: And then when I really thought about it, I'm like, wait, I don't have to hate my [00:19:00] childhood judge. My parents, they did the best they could, but I could look at what I don't want to do. Which would lead me to the information of how to do it differently. And this is true most humans, you know, most people, if they're not on this journey of awakening, they can't really tell you what they want.

Helen: They can very easily tell you what they do not want, and then you lead them into, okay, well what do you want? And you have to decide as a parent, what is it you wanna teach your kids to listen to authority unquestioning? That would be bad in our environment. Do you wanna teach them to argue? Do you wanna teach them to manipulate you or authority?

Helen: Do you wanna teach them to just wear you down till you give in? Or do you wanna teach them to think and show up in a family with values that the family's chosen? And to teach people how to think takes a lot of patience and repetition. 

Anne: So much. It's [00:20:00] exhausting, 

Helen: right? Think of ourselves. 

Anne: Yes. Even with me, I'm like, and I'm supposed to do this for two other people as well.

Anne: Are you kidding me? What did I sign up for? Some. Most days, it's not 

Helen: easy, in my opinion. It's not easy to awaken, and yet from my perspective, it's not as hard as staying unconscious and repeating things that don't work. 

Anne: Yeah, it's not as hard as us realizing that you haven't been doing it close to the way you want to.

Helen: Right. And yet you cannot hit a target you have not defined. So if you aren't choosing what parenthood, what family, what. You know, your values and your family are, then you're, you're in a conflict in the mind because the mind can only regurgitate what it knows. So it's gonna pick the way your parents parented.

Anne: Mm-hmm. 

Helen: Or it's gonna pick what culture teaches you. And that's probably not really the choice you would make. 

Anne: Yeah, I would say. It [00:21:00] 

Helen: comes back to do a what, why, how, how. You know, get clarity. Who are you as a mother? What is your target? How do you communicate to children at different ages so they can hear your target and be in partnership with you to have a successful, happy, thriving family?

Helen: If you ask these kids to be in partnership for a defined goal. They're amazing. They will join you and teach you and grow with you. If you set a goal that's not authentic to your heart, just because you haven't thought and taken time from it, they will challenge you and stress you beyond measure. 

Anne: Hmm.

Anne: Sometimes I feel like that happens, even though I think safety and fun are aligned. For me, fun definitely is, how often do I say the world word Fun. And it's still, I'm like, how do I, what am I doing that sometimes it feels like that's hard. [00:22:00] Fun is hard. We've had this discussion. 

Helen: My question would be, what's wrong with it being harsh?

Anne: Yeah. 

Helen: Why do we think that? Hard or negative emotion, fear-based emotion is wrong. 

Anne: Yeah. I didn't say safe and easy. I said safe and fun. Having fun is hard work 

Helen: because easy wouldn't mean safe. Just saying it 

Anne: wouldn't. No, it wouldn't, it wouldn't give me Right. What I want to provide for them. So, 

Helen: and it's, it's interesting, you know, I believe that if we could teach our children, yes, sometimes you're gonna feel bad.

Helen: Sometimes you're gonna be mad, sometimes you're gonna be sad, sometimes you're gonna cry. Sometimes you're gonna be obnoxious and rude, and that doesn't mean you're wrong or bad. It just means let's refocus on a target and see how we get there. 

Anne: Yeah. Such a, a merciful happy outlook for it. Let's just re regroup and refocus.[00:23:00] 

Anne: It doesn't have to make you a bad person at all. 

Helen: No. And if you think about it in other arenas, if you're, if you own a business or you work for a company, technology changes, um, the economy changes, times change, uh, marketing changes. Do you wanna make everything wrong, or do you just wanna go solution oriented and keep evolving forward?

Helen: Right. And the minute you get good at parenting your children, they're gonna change on you. That's the hard part, right? The minute you are a wonderful parent to a five-year-old, they're gonna become six and then seven, you just gotta keep learning how to speak their language and how to guide them at that bizarre stage.

Helen: And so it's the most magnificent spiritual bootcamp you could ever endeavor in if you want it to be. 

Anne: So what I'm hearing is the point of parenting is not to feel super duper good about yourself. [00:24:00] 

Helen: Well, it depends. Um, I felt, well, I dunno if this is honestly true now 'cause I'm in a different place now, but from the way my kids speak as a, as adults now.

Helen: Um, I did feel good. I felt good in telling them, I don't know. Let's figure this out. Wait, I have to think about this before I answer you. I felt good in saying, here's what I'm aiming for. I felt good in doing it differently than was done to me. I felt good in getting to parent them. Mm-hmm. Uh, did I feel good not knowing, not always.

Helen: I remember my kids saying, what do you mean you don't know? I was like, huh, well, I don't know. I've never had a kid your age before this situation. Whereas I remember being traumatized when I realized my parents weren't always right, like it never occurred to me they could have been wrong. 

Anne: Yeah, that's a wake up call.

Helen: Right. So you could feel good that you get to do it [00:25:00] differently and it's just challenging and sometimes it's messy and hard and mistakes are made, but you always move forward if you chose to feel good in that. 

Anne: Yeah. Awesome. Well, thank you very much Amy, for sending in your question today and, uh, letting us go over that.

Anne: I'm taking a lot from this too, so thank you. 

Helen: Enjoy it. It goes so fast. 

Anne: That's my advice. That's everyone's advice. It's not fast when you're living it, but boy, 

Helen: it's fast when it's over. 

Anne: Oh, I feel that. I feel that. 

Helen: Well, thank you for the question and I appreciate the time. It's been lovely. 

Anne: Yeah. Thank you again.

Anne: Thank you, Helen. And uh, we'll see you next week. Sounds good. Thank you. That's all for today. We'll be back next Thursday with our next episode. You can subscribe if you'd like to get new episodes when they drop. And reviewing and sharing the pod will help others find our community. We love getting your questions at Hello at Metaphysical Street.

Anne: Smartt. Dot com and [00:26:00] enjoy connecting with you on Instagram or wherever you've found us at Metaphysical Street Smarts. You can leave comments or questions there, which may be featured on our rapid fire segment. For information on upcoming events and consults with Helen, please visit Helen Rays. Dot com.

Anne: That's H-E-L-E-N-R-A-C z.com. 

Helen: We invite you to re-listen. Join us on our next episode, send us questions because it is our intent to support you at this tumultuous time on Earth into the best experience of you. 

Anne: Thanks for being here. Until next time, stay grounded.