Anne: [00:00:00] Hi, I am Anne, and I'm Helen. And welcome to Metaphysical Street Smarts. What is Metaphysical Street Smarts? Helen 

Helen: Physical is everything you can see with your human eye. You can see, touch, feel, taste as a human. Metaphysical. Is that what you cannot see? Wifi microwave energy. When you feel somebody staring at you, you can't really feel eyesight.

Helen: So metaphysical is that what you can't perceive with the human eye? Street smarts means let's take the woowoo, the energetic, the airy fairy, and add it to logic so that you can have a better experience of yourself. In this one, 

Anne: as always, we invite you to take what blesses you and leave the rest. We're so glad you're here.

Anne: Let's jump in. Hi Helen. Welcome to episode 52. Oh, 

Helen: [00:01:00] 52. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna miss this for however long we take a break. Yeah, we'll 

Anne: figure it out. We'll figure out what we're doing. Um, and yeah, if, uh, if anyone has ideas. Let us know we are, we are open to transforming or just taking a break and picking back up.

Anne: Just trying to figure out where we wanna go, how we wanna contribute next, 

Helen: and maybe our workshop on 10 10 will give us some information. Yeah. 

Anne: Yeah. We've got our Logical Law of Attraction Workshop on October 10th, sixth. To 8:00 PM Mountain Standard Time, which is seven to 9:00 PM Central, right? Yeah. Cool.

Anne: Yes. That's our birthday episode. 

Helen: Isn't that cool? It's our birthday celebration and we're asking for an exchange of your choice. You can do $10 [00:02:00] for in honor of 10. You can do 20 in honor of 10. 10. You can do 52 in honor of 52 podcast. What we'd really love is if you pick a number and tell us why that number is your fave and what it means to you in the financial exchange.

Helen: And yes, I decided there should be a financial exchange because it means you'll receive more from the workshop and it will reimburse. And for some of the costs of website podcast editing sound equipment that she sent me to this big mic that I speak into. All fun stuff. Okay, so, um, page 79. Now that I'm on the right page, so I put together a few final thoughts on this subject.

Helen: The subject is the importance of being in your own business, each with an example to help you quickly apply the lesson. Enjoy. So first one, without the [00:03:00] understanding of being in your business. The principles can't work at all. So what is your business? Your business is what you, you alone, think, feel, or do, period.

Helen: That's it. That's all you got. So what are the other businesses? Other people's business? Yeah, the other people's business is what they think, feel, or do. And when I say do, it can also be not do right? They're taking action or not. God's business or the big things that. More than one person is involved in, uh, God's business is the weather, layoffs, the economy, war, um, disease, things that one person can't control by themselves, right?

Helen: Uh, and it's Byron Katie, who, she only said this once. I mean, I researched it. Maybe she's talked about it more since, but only once. And I think it's such a big teaching. I use [00:04:00] it all the time. There's only three businesses and you only suffer when you're not in yours. So the three businesses are your business, other people's business and God's business.

Helen: So whenever I'm suffering, I stop and think, oh my, I am not in my business. How do I get back there? Right? And I wouldn't call it suffering today, but when I'm uncomfortable, I realize I am somehow forgetting what is my role business in that. But I used to suffer all the time trying to run everybody's life without the understanding of being in your business.

Helen: The principles cannot work at all. One example, being in a contest and setting your goal to win means stress and pain because you aren't the judge. Paying to produce a book for the intention of making financial profit leaves you at the mercy of people you do not know how to reach or consistently influence.

Helen: So that's a second example. A third one is. Not having a personal definition of a good [00:05:00] mother leaves you without guidance when triggered emotionally. So let's look at that a little closer. So if you set your goal for any competition to be the winner, you really don't control the wins, right? You do want what you wanna set your goal as is participating at the level you feel gave your all.

Helen: And depending on what that goal is, it would be what kind of energy, what kind of emotion do you wanna be in in it, right? You wanna play hard, you wanna play big. Winning would be awesome. And yet at the same time, you wanna know, you showed up. Well, another example on this one is when you enter, if your goal with an interview is that you get the job, you might take personal rejection over and over and over.

Helen: Yet, if you set a goal of being great in interviews by asking good questions and speaking clearly, and being [00:06:00] conscious the entire time, you will create success with each interview. And you get hired. When you get hired. You don't even control that in. Yeah, right. So the whole goal of feeling good is creating success upon success, being at, if you define what a good mother is, by your definition, not your mother's definition.

Helen: Certainly not your children's definition, not even your spouse's definition. What's your target, your mission as a mother? When you can hit that target, you're in your business strongly, and when you start feeling martyred or overwhelmed or stressed out, or like you're sacrificing or you've lost yourself, it means you're out of your own business.

Helen: And you're all in the business of little humans that really are not thinking about you. 

Anne: Oh, man. I just am having so many epiphanies of like, oh yeah, I'm really out of my business here. [00:07:00] So much is coming up. I'm like, oh, yep, yep, yep. I see why I would be feeling stuck, that I'd see why that's uncomfortable at the moment.

Helen: I'm not a business and I love your mission. Your mission is about being playful and keeping them safe. Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Always remember, go back to your mission statement over and over and over. Am I having fun? Is there a way I could parent and enjoy their unique personalities? Could I make this easier, more doable, or could I just seek to understand that we're gonna bonk heads over this one thing, but it's okay.

Helen: 'cause they're not gonna be this age forever. Mm-hmm. Right. So sometimes seeking to understand goes even bigger. I, I taught my kids having fun's hard work and it's great 'cause they don't mind hard work as adults. Um, because it was a lot of work when I was a mom to make things fun, like a day at the pool or a day at the lake, right?

Helen: It was a lot of work. And they'd see me working, working, working. And so that's how that started. And [00:08:00] you know, teaching them that. Yes. What is it you want? And you're part of a family, so how do we all get in agreement to have solutions? You know, if you start them thinking really young, they become critical thinkers and it's really of benefit, start giving them options.

Helen: Well, what do you think will happen if we do it this way? What do you think will happen if you do it that way? So when you ask kids questions. Or you, or if you tell them, here's my problem, here's what I need. What do you think the solution is? How can I get that? If they give you an answer, doesn't mean they will, but if they do, they'll actually follow through.

Helen: So how do you get in partnership with the children or adults in your life instead of authority and subject, because that consciousness isn't being born onto the planet anymore. Yeah, it's about getting in partnership. And it's interesting with the, with children your age [00:09:00] ages, they do care about that because they're wire, they're the new kids wired for it.

Helen: So if you can use a language, they can understand. To be in partnership for the family to run smoothly, you, you will be very surprised with the results. So that's staying in your business of what's the problem, what's the solution? How do I keep them safe? How do I stay loving and kind instead of wanting to, to just rough manhandle them into what I want.

Helen: And in that energy, they will rise and meet it.

Helen: Which is the opposite of us blaming our kids for making us crazy or making us yell. Or making us punish them, right? That's what our parents did. All right. Let's see what else. There is no proactivity in desiring to change, fix, heal, or control others. It all comes from fear and creates pain for many, [00:10:00] so it's reactive.

Helen: When we believe that husbands or children or parents or siblings are gonna feel like we feel, think like we think or want what we want, it's a reaction. It's not truth. It's not seeking to understand and it's definitely, it's just not their business to be us. They don't have our chemistry, our memories.

Helen: Our personality, our desires, our, they don't have our soul agreement, our, our karmic debt. There's no way they're gonna perceive everything exactly like we do. 

Anne: Yeah. And that's the, that's the whole point is for there to be diversity. 'cause if we're just trying to be ha having people act the way we think they should, am I just trying to be married to myself?

Anne: My answer is no. I would not [00:11:00] like to be, I married someone else for a reason, and I have to remember that that's not always gonna be, it's not always gonna look the way I think it should look. And that's not my business. My business is how I show up when it doesn't look the way I think it should. 

Helen: Right.

Helen: And preferably, we have a good sense of humor about how it looks on a good day. I remember with the infants, um, I don't know what it was. I, you know, there were such cute little clothes that matched and I would work on Saturday in retail then, and I'd come home. My husband would have whichever, or both boys and, Nope, nobody ever matched.

Helen: And medicine was never on time and just, nope. And I would remind myself I couldn't go and work in a corporate setting 40 hours a week either. Mm-hmm. Like, we're just different. And my kids are still alive. Can I be okay with and everybody's happy? Why? Why do I need to not be happy over [00:12:00] this? That one I still remember was a tough one for me.

Helen: Yep, 

Anne: yep. There are lots of different ways, just depends on what our goal is. 

Helen: That's a, and so the examples I used in that were needing to win means that losing hurts. Needing book sales means you're at the mercy of forces. You can't count on needing your sons to think like you be like you is insanity since they are not you and don't have your specific chemistry, emotion, memories, or identity or challenges.

Helen: I know like boys are different. Yeah, and my boys, well, yours. I don't know how big a difference in for you and your kids, but my boys grew up like on a different planet. Technology is so different from when I was a kid. My boys are connected to the world. They used to do video gaming with people in other countries all the time.

Helen: They [00:13:00] have friends all over. Like, that was formed to me. It's a, it's just a whole different reality. They don't hand write things. They don't use checks. Um. You know, things that like decades were normal to me, it's like they're grew up on a different planet. So why would I expect them to be like me? No. Okay, another one.

Helen: No one truly wins over time when change is not authentic or aligned to truth, choice, and acceptance, not force empower us. Even the controller will not have happiness when others, us out of fear. So examples. Winning is the vibration of success. Hating winners means you're aligning to the opposite vibes.

Helen: So if you lose and you hate the winners, you hate that somebody won and it because it wasn't you, you're kinda messing with your own chances there For future wins, being in the negative energies of losing for prolonged [00:14:00] periods only limits the future potential of becoming masterful and creates a personal loss for all who would be a part of continuous growth such as.

Helen: Judges, marketers, publishers, writers, readers, Amazon, et cetera. That was in the example of Cindy being in, uh, a writing contest. Mm-hmm. So, yeah, you can't win if you just manhandle your kids. Control them because they're smart. They'll just do things you don't know about. That's how I grew up. My brothers always got caught, and I just thought they were stupid.

Helen: I did a lot of bad things and never got caught. Yeah, and who did that really hurt? Okay, so there is no first things first that will bless you if you aren't in your business and in a higher vibe. Feeling victimized does not create and never, ever will create you want. So examples, wanting to change what is in reality by force only creates [00:15:00] more vibrational alignment to what you don't want.

Helen: It's that expression. What you resist persists. So like if you keep saying There's not enough time, I'm in such a rush. There's not enough time. There's not enough time. Well, you can never get to a better place if you're in that scarcity. If instead you were to like, what is my target here? How can I successfully make tomorrow easier or set different, um, systems to get places on time or to have more space to make 

Anne: choices to have?

Anne: Especially when we're in the back to school and like figuring out what our mornings look like. It's, it has to be for me more about what do I have time for? What do I definitely have time for? Shoes, breakfast, clothes, teeth. Like make it focusing on what there is time for instead of going, there's not enough time, there's not enough time.

Anne: Yes. You [00:16:00] can never find 

Helen: solution in the lower victim consciousness. You've gotta go higher to proactivity, like, ooh, need to lay the clothes out early. Yep. Make lunches early. Yep. Have everything set up where we can run out the door or wake up earlier. Right. Um, and again, I feel for all the mothers listening because yes, the children change on you.

Helen: Um, let's see. If you're busy wanting to change others, you can't possibly understand their experience, their consciousness. Or the gift of their uniqueness. And you know, flat out people don't feel loved. If you want them to be different than they are, we might want them to choose more solution or more action that results and good outcome.

Helen: And yet there's a big difference between making them wrong as a being or making reactions less than fruitful. So examples never relating to the love of competition [00:17:00] or contest means you'll drop out before finding what you're capable of. So you can love competition without making winning. The only goal, needing a first book to be a bestseller means you'll stop or doubt yourself and the value of what you offer, even though those close to you give endless testimony of the value of your work.

Helen: Because when you're saying it has to be a bestseller, you're trying to get millions of strangers involved. Not your business of the divine timing of that. Mm-hmm. Expecting many mes out of your children means you missed the gift of who they uniquely are. How many of us never felt seen or known by our parents?

Helen: Yeah. Right. They couldn't see us, and it's because they didn't have the bandwidth. They didn't have the consciousness, they didn't receive enough unconditional love. They were put into boxes and so they didn't know how to give us. And then now you look at your kids very different consciousness. Mm-hmm.

Helen: Very [00:18:00] different. Right. And to be loved exactly as we are in all our red hot human craziness and mess is such a gift, isn't it? And then still be led into solution is so nice. 

Anne: Yeah. I think I, even as an adult, I'm still, I'm learning how to. Come out of this. I don't know how to balance making my own choices with, like showing up respectfully for my parents.

Anne: It's, um, yeah, I, I'm going through this whole self-discovery and trying to be conscious in the choices that I'm making and I don't know, I'm still figuring it out and my hope is that my kids. Don't have to go through some major identity shift, that they just get to be who they are because I haven't [00:19:00] tried to mold them.

Anne: That 

Helen: well said. Yeah. And those of us that were put in boxes and molded through violence or guilt or shame or strictness, um, yeah, we never felt loved, felt very conditional. And then we can. Couldn't figure out who we are and yet never make it wrong. 'cause it led us to great paths of self-growth and, and changing the patterns in the next generation.

Helen: So just remember with your parents today, they will never see you. 

Anne: I love this. Just remember this inspirational message. Your parents will actually never love you. 

Helen: Well, they do. They love you to the best of their ability, but they will never really know you because for one, you're a highly evolving being and their consciousness doesn't match that.

Helen: And two, you don't need them to love you. You can love them so much unconditionally that it [00:20:00] heals that part of your heart. Yeah. So unconditional love doesn't mean codependency. Unconditional love means you don't need them to be different than they are to radiate love towards them. It doesn't mean you change your values or your ethics.

Helen: It means you give what you can give with generosity and kindness, and you say, I love you. I can't give you that to the things you can't. Mm-hmm. 

Anne: Okay. 

Helen: Right. Unconditional love just means you don't judge them. Wish they were different. Try to change them, manipulate them, trick them be in transactional love.

Helen: It just means you show up as the best version of you and radiate love towards them, whether they're in the mood for it or not. They'll, they'll bounce out of your environment if they can't handle it by racially. 

Anne: Okay? So, yeah. So it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm doing it wrong, just because it's not the way they want it.

Helen: Yeah. At all. Yeah, [00:21:00] because if you give them everything they want, well, that'd be like your kids. You just would create they, it wouldn't give them happiness. They'd be spoiled and their ego would take over and want more and more. It just means that you don't judge them harshly and you don't withdraw from them because they're not who you want them to be.

Helen: Imagine unconditional love means no condition on how they show up in the world. But it still means you stay in your business of how you show up. If somebody's abusive, you say, no, can't be with you. That's not loving to me. You always put the oxygen mask on the So first. Yeah, make time so you can slow it down and just be in the energy of love and humor and safe.

Helen: Okay. And they're moving targets too.

Anne: That was priceless. Oh. Drives me nuts. Oh, [00:22:00] it's fun to be mean until you get good at 

Helen: it and, and once you get really skilled at it, you'll be amazed what happens. All right. We wrapped it up pretty well. Oh my gosh. We're wrapping up. 52 weeks. 52 weeks, man. Podcast 52. Great. Big thank you to everybody who's been with us.

Helen: Listen as. Or is gonna go back and catch the first ones that they didn't know about. And again, we invite you all to email me at Helen race@comcast.net or Instagram metaphysical Street Smarts. Let us know you wanna come or get the recording to the 10 10 workshop. And what we're asking everybody to do is bring one target.

Helen: That you haven't, that you don't feel fully aligned to come with questions or come with creating sacred focus and time on it, and we'll walk you through the process. It'll be something you can apply to other areas of your life over and over and over. So we look forward to an interactive two hours. Come and join us [00:23:00] or get the recording after.

Helen: You can even send us some topics if you want to. Um, if you can't be there that you'd like me to cover, awesome. Looking forward to it. Love playing together. 

Anne: Thank you everyone. Thank you so much, Helen. I'm episode 52. 52. Oh, I can't believe it. It's been joy. I, all 52 have been delightful. Thank you so much.

Anne: Absolutely. Thank you Helen. Alright everyone, we will see ya at the workshop. Sounds good. Okay. Bye. Bye. That's all for today. We'll be back next Thursday with our next episode. You can subscribe if you'd like to get new episodes when they drop. And reviewing and sharing the pod will help others find our community.

Anne: We love getting your questions at Hello at Metaphysical Street. smarts.com and enjoy connecting with you on Instagram or wherever you've found us at Metaphysical Street Smarts. You can leave comments or questions there, which may be featured on our rapid fire segment. For information on upcoming [00:24:00] events and consults with Helen, please visit Helen Rays.

Anne: Dot com. That's H-E-L-E-N-R-A-C z.com. 

Helen: We invite you to re-listen. Join us on our next episode, send us questions because it is our intent to support you at this tumultuous time on Earth into the best experience of you. 

Anne: Thanks for being here. Until next time, stay grounded.